Bella's Ultimatum
by ambivalent soul
Summary: Edward originally challenged Bella refusing to transform her, or make love to her, unless she married him. Bella comes to terms with this, and accepts, but offers Edward an ultimatum of her own, as she is unable to imagine a life without Charlie. B/E
1. Chapter 1

**Bella's Ultimatum**

**Edward originally challenged Bella refusing to transform her, or make love to her, unless she married him. Bella comes to terms with this, and accepts, but offers Edward an ultimatum of her own, as she is unable to imagine a life without Charlie. Set Post- Eclipse. B/E.**

_I don't own any of the characters- unfortunately. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer but if you let me play with them then I promise I will put them all back where they belong……_

**Chapter 1**

"They always say that the forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest and for the past year I had held that fruit in the palm of my hand unable to take a bite out of it."

I tore my eyes away from the page as I felt waves of frustration coursing through my body.

Where was he?

He had been gone over four hours, and although that wasn't an exceptionally long period of time, a minute away from him had always seemed like an eternity.

I couldn't study.

I couldn't read.

I simply couldn't focus.

To me, Edward was a gentleman. He was my Prince Charming, perfection incarnated on skin and bones and soul. To me, Edward had a soul.

During the few hours a week that he religiously took to hunt, to satiate the intense burning sensation that I provoked in his throat, I would become completely unsettled. I couldn't come to terms with the fact that during those hours, Edward became an animal.

Although I knew that Edward was always a raging animal beneath the controlled composure he always fought to keep, the fact that he was out in the forest murdering, feeding…..

My thoughts spun off with images of blood and carcasses.

"Get a grip," I whispered to myself.

I set out to do laundry, entertaining myself by putting a load of whites into the washer and taking a load of colors out. The soft and clean smell of fresh, clean laundry enveloped me as I began folding the clothes by front window.

And then I heard it. It was a sound that was only provoked by fast, flashy sports cars seen on TV. I dropped everything I was doing and ran toward the foyer of my home. Naturally by the time I got to the front door he was already standing on the porch.

"Where were you?" I demanded before even giving him a chance to speak.

I slowly felt waves of relaxation washing over my body. It was always the same. When he went on hunting trips I made myself ill with images of his bestiality, a side of him that I could only imagine. And although I racked my brain full of negativity during that time, the minute I saw him again, the minute I caught a glance of those topaz eyes I was as good as gone.

When I was with Edward Cullen I had no doubts.

When I was with Edward Cullen I had no fears.

When I was with Edward Cullen I DID HAVE billions of butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

Edward seemed completely unfazed by the harsh greeting I received him with.

"The waiter took a while to bring the bill."

His infamous half smile and sarcasm made me forget absolutely every thought. I was dazzled, as per usual. He reached forward and wrapped his arms around me in an uncharacteristically tight hug. The intimate embrace sent electrical currents running through my body.

"I missed you," I murmured into the crook of his neck.

He pushed us both through the threshold of the house without breaking the embrace and with a swift kick, shut the front door behind us.

He slowly began to kiss me lightly on the apple of my cheeks and I felt the goose bumps rise on my arms.

"Charlie…." I stammered, remembering that my father had stepped out of the house about twenty minutes ago.

"Charlie won't be back for another hour," Edward said, pulling away.

His eyes silently asked for permission to continue.

I sighed. I would give in. I knew I would give in, and he knew I would give in.

They always say that the forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest and for the past year I had held that fruit in the palm of my hand unable to take a bite out of it.

I leaned back carefully watching his face and vacillating between my options.

Option 1. We could go upstairs, I could get turned on only to be left alone while Edward ran back into the depths of the forest. A few seconds of pleasure, followed by hours of both of us critically analyzing the mistake we had made.

Option 2. We could sit and turn on the TV, pretending to watch it as we tried to wave away the desire that constantly burned in our bodies. We'd grow frustrated at the situation, and at one another.

"Sometimes I trick myself into believing I know what you are thinking," he broke the silence with a smirk referring to my inexplicable status as a mental mute.

"Oh yeah? How is that?" I challenged him, spiking my voice with what I believed were flirtatious undertones.

"Because you want to go upstairs with me, you want to go really badly BUT," he emphasized the but in an exaggerated manner, "we both know how it will end, we know what will happen, or rather what won't happen."

His voice trailed off as he finished the sentence demonstrating his shyness on such subjects. Unlike other boys, Edward seemed as uncomfortable as someone awaiting a root canal in a dentist's office when the conversation turned towards desire. His awkwardness made me laugh, at times like these it was clear that he was from another time.

I took in a deep breath. They called it animal instinct for a reason didn't they?

Without a conclusion to our pending conversation, I began up the stairs. Halfway up I looked down and glanced at him invitingly. He had that half smile plastered on his face.

I swung the door to my room open and made my way to the bed.

Before I knew it, he was on my bed, hovering over me and staring me down with those topaz eyes. Our lips moved towards each other, like magnets and when they met it was like we couldn't pull them apart.

Although the kisses were nothing if not chaste, I couldn't help but feel a tingling sensation rolling through my body. Without even thinking about it, I nibbled on his bottom lip.

He pulled away causing me to stop dead in my tracks. I had done something wrong, I was sure.

"Did you just bite me?" His expression was neutral and I was having difficulty reading him.

I felt the blush crawl up to my cheeks and looked away, completely embarrassed.

I was ready to crawl out from under him when he pulled me closer and our lips reconnected. I felt his ice cold hand on my hip.

It was funny because warmth is universally associated with romance, but for me, ice cold is the temperature I associate with love.

His hand ran further up the length of my torso under the cotton shirt I was wearing. He seemed to be frustrated by the thin material separating him from me because with a swift movement, he pulled it off of me.

Left in my bra, I rubbed against him, enjoying every bit of pleasure the sensation was provoking. I felt hypnotized and I wanted the moment to last forever.

I felt myself getting carried away. I snuck a hand onto his hip, and slowly pushed my fingers under the waistband of his pants.

And then he pulled away, but for once I didn't really care.

"I'm sorry I won't do it again," I apologized without sincerity and I pulled him closer in, forcibly kissing him.

Between my forced kisses he whispered "Charlie".

That was all I needed to hear.

I pushed him off of me and scanned the floor for my shirt which had gone missing. By the time I pulled the cotton v-neck over my head he was long gone. My window was wide open and a bright yellow post it was affixed onto it. His familiar elegant scrawl brought a smile to my face.

_Back tonight. Forever Love….._

I marveled at the fact that four words could provoke such intense emotions in me and then the sound of my front door snapped me out of my reverie.

"Bella? Bells?"

The familiar voice caused a sense of warmth to spread through my body, and with that, I ran down the stairs to greet my father.


	2. Chapter 2

**Note: I was so happy when I came home from finals and found that a bunch of people had subscribed to my story. Thank you all for putting a smile on my face, I hope to do the same. And if you like it…review, please?**

_I don't own any of the characters- unfortunately. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer but if you let me play with them then I promise I will put them all back where they belong……_

**Chapter 2**

I watched Charlie take off his gun holster and hang it on the wall from the top of the stairs and I couldn't help but feel a raw emotion within me.

Love.

Over time I had learned that there were different types of love.

The love I have for Renee is the type of love a parent usually has for their child. I constantly worry about her well being and often make my own decisions based on what is best for my mother. At times she disappoints me, but at the end of the day I want nothing more than to see her happy. My mother was the only person I loved for a long time, until I moved to Forks.

Then there was Jacob, who I came to love as a friend almost instantly. He was different, and I was different too. I simply couldn't figure out why, no matter the circumstance, I feel so attached to him. I had really never thought that a man and a woman could love each other in a way that was not romantic until Jacob. I love Jacob in such a way that I cannot bear to see him in danger. When Victoria and the newborns came all I could do was wonder what I would do if, God forbid, something happen to my Jacob. I love Jacob, however, I have no romantic desire to be with him.

Romantic desire had become synonymous to one boy, almost right away. Edward Cullen. Edward's original apprehension toward me had only made me more curious about him, and once I knew him, once I really knew him, there was no turning back. They say true love is accepting another person for exactly who they are and I knew Edward and I still loved him. But our love is different from the way I love Renee and the way I love Jacob. Without Edward, I am nothing, I am devoid of any emotion, without Edward I cease to exist. Much like Renee had said when we visited Florida, Edward and I work around each other, completely aware of each other, and completely in sync. And then there is the fact that I want Edward, I really _want _him. I want to give myself to him but also receive him in return. Naturally though, things wouldn't be that easy for me, Edward is after all not only instinctively programmed to kill me but also from an era where a wedding happens before a bed is shared.

In that instant I remembered the ring. I was an engaged woman, and although I had promised that I wouldn't keep it a secret much longer, I couldn't bring myself to tell the fourth person that I loved.

"Bella, are you alright?" Charlie looked at me questioningly and I surfaced from my thoughts.

I nodded and made my way to the arm chair across from the sofa where he was making himself comfortable.

Charlie threw one final glance over at me and reached for the remote. As he became hypnotized by the images on the screen, I began to drown in thoughts of him.

I remembered the summers when I would come to Forks-against my will. Charlie always wanted to be a parent, always. Although he was never overbearing I knew that he loved me more than anything else and so that is how I came to love Charlie as a parent. Although I knew that Edward and Jacob would probably give up their lives for me, I knew with complete certainty that Charlie would. Our relationship was unspoken and insinuated but the bond that we had formed since I moved in with him was undeniable.

I felt myself becoming emotional. How the hell was I supposed to tell him I was getting married? The fact that I was actually worried about his reaction made it clear just how important he was. He competed with Edward for that top spot.

I became uncomfortable with my own thoughts and squirmed in my seat. Charlie pulled his attention away from the screen and glanced at me. He patted the space on the couch next to him, extending an invitation.

I moved onto the couch and sat with my side pressed into Charlie, his arm hung loosely around my shoulder and when I leaned further into him he tightened his grip on me. I felt safe.

When I was with my father I felt safe. Not because he was the Chief of Police, nor because I thought he could defend me (after all he was a mere mortal), but because he was my father and as fragile and breakable as he was, he was my blood, blood that I would soon no longer have.

The thought made me cringe. Why did it all have to be so complicated? The Montagues and the Capulets had nothing on us-mortal enemies, mythological creatures and me, Isabella Marie Swan. How the hell did I manage to get myself caught up in this?

In that moment I realized that I needed time.

I was ready to become a vampire. I was ready for pain. I was ready for immortality. I was ready to commit myself to Edward forever, however, I wasn't ready to leave Charlie behind. Charlie was the only normal functioning relationship I actually had. All I wanted was a little longer. I really couldn't imagine disappointing him the same way my mother did. It would kill him.

Time passed and my thoughts skittered around Renee, Jacob, Edward and Charlie.

Eventually the game ended and Charlie switched the TV off with the remote. He looked down at me and I looked up at him.

"Good night Bells," he murmured while patting down some of the hair on my head.

Then it just slipped out. I don't know what compelled me to say it but I couldn't help but think that it felt so right although it was so out of character for me.

"Good night daddy, I love you."

His head shot back up. He was surprised too.

I usually had trouble remembering to call him Dad, Charlie always managed to slip out, and all of a sudden I was calling him daddy. So strange, yet comforting.

The surprised expression wore off his face. He nodded and went to go turn off some lights in the kitchen leaving me alone in the room. I was overwhelmed.

I trekked upstairs and into my room, grabbing my bag of toiletries off the desk where it sat. In the bathroom as I brushed my teeth and washed my face I took slow long breaths, relaxing. I rubbed at my eyes and walked back into my room.

I wasn't surprised to find him there.

Edward was leaning against headboard and examining a picture frame on my nightstand. I ran towards the bed and dove onto it playfully. He chuckled but I erupted with laughter. I wasn't in the mood for seriousness, I just wanted to laugh and smile.

"Tell me a joke," I whispered to him still laughing.

"A joke?" he questioned in a low deep voice raising one eyebrow.

I nodded and he looked at me as if I were crazy.

"Seriously, you've been alive for like a hundred years. You should know a good joke," I said still laughing.

All of a sudden he started to laugh. Edward rarely actually laughed. Usually he was limited to half smiles and chuckles. I leaned forward intrigued as to what he would say.

"Okay. I've got a good one. What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?" He laughed as he said it and the corners of his eyes crinkled.

I scrunched up my nose half insulted and very confused. He kept laughing.

"It's a pain in the neck!"

After delivering his punch line he was laughing so hard that he had to cover his mouth with my comforter to muffle the noise.

"I didn't really think it was funny," my voice was full of confusion. This was awkward.

"It's actually pretty funny," he had stopped laughing but his face still radiated joy, "I read it on a cereal box."

"Edward, you don't eat cereal."

At that point I began to laugh and he laughed at me laughing until he had to drag us both under my covers so that Charlie wouldn't hear us. I was enjoying the moment. Edward usually didn't let his guard down.

This was one of the moments I would like to remember forever and it wasn't worth spoiling. I wouldn't tell Edward just yet.


	3. Chapter 3

_I don't own any of the characters- unfortunately. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer but if you let me play with them then I promise I will put them all back where they belong……_

_I don't own any of the characters- unfortunately. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer but if you let me play with them then I promise I will put them all back where they belong……_

**Chapter 3**

"Why didn't you tell me last night?" He barked the words as I opened my eyes.

I looked around completely disoriented. Edward was sitting on the ledge of my bed staring at me. He looked angry, very angry. I peeked out the window scanning for the police cruiser to make sure Charlie was already gone for the day. We were home alone, unfortunately.

"What?"

"You could have told me last night Bella, I mean, really, how long did you think you could keep it from me considering that my sister SEES THE FUTURE," he screamed the last part.

I closed my eyes.

He knew. He knew that I couldn't figure out what to do with Charlie. He knew that last night while I lulled off to sleep in his arms I had decided that in some way shape or form I was going to tell Charlie the whole truth.

Charlie deserved the truth. He deserved to understand the animosity between the Quileute people and the Cullens. He deserved to know the complication of the Edward-Bella-Jacob triangle.

I wanted Charlie to stop blaming Edward for leaving, and I wanted Charlie to understand that every single thing Edward had ever done was in the interest of my well being.

I wanted Charlie to know because I knew he would take it well. I knew we were alike in that aspect. He would react much like myself, no fear, simply curiosity.

I wouldn't tell Renee. Renee couldn't handle it and she would never know the difference anyway. Renee was always so involved in her own world that she would never realize that I wouldn't age. Those were the types of things Renee didn't notice.

I had also come to terms with the fact that I felt that I could continue my relationship with Renee through daily phone calls and scarce visits. Our bond was already so deep that I could afford to tear us apart.

I knew that as a newborn I wouldn't be able to see anyone for awhile, but the thought of not seeing Renee didn't quite bother me.

The thought of not seeing Charlie killed me.

I spoke up.

"I thought you wanted me to stay human, I thought you didn't even want to change me," I answered angrily.

He sighed. His stance became less defensive and I could see him letting his guard down. He crossed the room and sat on my rocking chair. He buried his head in his hands and then looked back up at me.

"This isn't about being changed Bella," he paused, his voice was already much softer, "This is about you not telling me things, you not telling me important things. This is about me having to hear about these important things from my sister, instead of from you."

His voice was laced with emotion which provoked an intense guilt within me but I really just wanted to brush my teeth.

I whimpered childishly and threw the covers off of me. I stood in the middle of the room. I paced a little, trying to figure out what I would say.

"I thought you'd be angry."

It was the lamest excuse in the book yet it was the absolute truth. I figured he'd be furious.

He reached out toward me but I hesitated.

"Just tell me why. Why do you want to delay the wedding? Is it because of what you said before? You don't want to be changed?"

His questions confused me. And then like cold water showering onto me they all sprung me alive.

He didn't know. He didn't know everything.

He only knew what Alice had seen in her vision. Last night I had decided that I had to stall, that I wouldn't be married because I wouldn't be changed yet. I hadn't decided to tell Charlie yet, so Alice couldn't have seen it.

In that moment I knew that I could never fully be certain that I was going to tell Charlie the truth, because in that exact moment, Alice would know.

I looked back at Edward. His eyes were large and sad.

This time I reached out toward him and he pulled me onto him lap where I curled up. He traced lazy circles onto my back as I tried to muster up my next lie.

"You were right Edward," I broke the silence with a whisper.

"I usually am, but what about this time?"

I laughed, remembering him say the exact thing after the blood typing lab. It seemed like so long ago, so much had changed yet everything remained exactly the same, every second of my existence revolved around Edward Cullen.

He opened his mouth, no doubt to ask me his favorite question- What are you thinking?

"I was thinking about the blood typing lab," I explained, answering his unasked question.

He smiled, "You know me too well," he whispered into the crook of my neck.

He slowly lifted his head up from the spot and looked straight into my eyes.

"You were saying…."

Leave it to him to ruin an innocent light hearted moment. I put on my best poker face and set out with my lie.

"You were right. I don't know if I'm done being a human yet. I know I don't want to be older than you but at the same time, I don't want to rush this. I love you. I love you more than you can ever imagine, but I need time."

I let my words out carefully gauging his reaction. He seemed at ease, like he had been expecting this.

"So it isn't a fear of getting married?"

I shook my head.

"I know I want to be with you forever Edward. I just realized that you were right, maybe I could benefit from staying human a little longer."

He kissed my forehead and I felt bad for lying. I leaped off his lap.

"Lets go! I need to get Alice to start planning this wedding," I exclaimed, honestly beginning to feel some excitement.

He smiled.

"Alice started a long, long time ago," he admitted sheepishly.

A/N-

Sorry it took so long- I was finishing off finals and then mourning my grades L

I should have another chapter up by tonight if not tomorrow morning.

Please review J


	4. Chapter 4

_I don't own any of the characters- unfortunately. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer but if you let me play with them then I promise I will put them all back where they belong……_

**Chapter 4**

Alice looked like she was on a sugar rush, she wouldn't stop bouncing and twittering around. She clapped her hands rhythmically and held up a piece of tulle.

"What do you think Bella?"

I looked down at the tulle confused.

"Where exactly is that going to go?"

Alice whined and stomped her foot, "Why don't you listen to me?"

My stomach growled loudly and Alice rolled her eyes.

"Edward," she called out into the house, Edward appeared at in the doorway, "Bella gets an hour break. Feed her."

Alice floated out of the room leaving Edward and I alone. He held out his arms and I skipped right into them.

"I'm sorry about Alice," he apologized.

"I love Alice. Stop apologizing."

He pulled away, looked me in the eye and gave me my favorite crooked half grin.

"Let's go lovebug," he murmured in my ear before throwing an arm around me and steering me out of the house.

Once in the confines of the silver Volvo, Edward looked over at me and scanned my face seriously.

"Bella, I'm going to talk to Alice," he paused and I began to protest but he cut me off, "Alice and Rosalie are used to planning weddings to their liking. Large, ridiculous events. That suits them but that doesn't suit you. That doesn't suit us."

He let his words sink in and waited for my reaction, when I offered none, he continued.

"I don't want to be like Emmett and Rosalie or Alice and Jasper. I don't want to get married everytime we move to a new town, or anytime someone wants an excuse for a party. To me this is sacred."

I nodded and I broke my silence.

"I agree Edward."

He stuck the keys in the ignition and began to drive away from the house and towards town.

"So now that you agree with me, you understand why this wedding will be special, and will be just the way we want it, regardless of Alice's impulses."

I nodded, he made sense.

"Edward," I paused smiling, "That's all fine and dandy but I'm not going to be the one to tell her."

He smiled cockily.

"Neither will I. She is having a vision as we speak."

We laughed and that's when I realized that we were already parked in front of the diner.

"You want to take out?" Edward offered.

"Yeah that will be better," I affirmed. I always felt bad that Edward spent so much time watching me eat. It also made me feel weird and self conscious in a way I had never before experienced.

Edward left me in his car while he went inside to order my food and I stayed listening to the soft jazz floating out from the stereo.

I suddenly was overwhelmed with feelings of guilt. I was getting married. I should be ecstatic. Sure, I dreaded telling my parents that their only daughter was about to become a teen bride but the idea of promising to spend forever and ever by Edward's side pleased me to no end.

Edward came back into the car with a bag and swiped my hands away from it every time I tried to peek inside. He then grabbed a hold of my left hand and held it loosely while navigating the car with his right hand. We rested in silence, comfortable silence.

He drove and eventually parked at a small park there was adjacent to the elementary school in Forks. He turned off the car, grabbed the bag with the food and walked towards a picnic table. I followed him, just as a little lamb would. Eventually we sat.

He opened the bad and pulled out the contents. Ravioli. I had to smile. Could he be any more perfect?

"Thank you," I blushed as I said it.

He watched me eat and entertained me with a meaningless story about World War II while I munched on my food, and when I finished I stayed listening to him tell me meaningless stories. His voice dazzled me, obviously, but apart from that it also had this effect where it could either calm and relax me into a trance-like hypnotic state or send my heart fluttering and into cardiac arrest. He was just as empathic as Jasper at times.

"I want it to be small," I suddenly said in between bites.

I was met by a face full of confusion.  
"The wedding, I meant," I clarified.

He nodded, understanding, "Just family."

"It will be during the day, no frills, my dress will be simple and the reception will just be a lunch," I spoke as if they were rules.

"And I'm inviting Angela Weber and Billy Black," I added with the best nonchalant voice I could muster.

My words didn't seem to phase him.

Rapidly changing the subject, I began to tell him a story about a summer that I had spent with Charlie in California. I felt nostalgic. We sat in comfortable silence for another while.

"It's been two hours, Bella," there was a hint of regret and disappointment in his voice. I knew he didn't want to go.

"Alice," we sighed in unison.

We held hands as we walked back to the car, he opened my door for me, as always, before heading to his side of the car.

As we drove up the road to the Cullen house, Alice's tiny figure became visible.

"Oh god."

"Let me handle it Bella. Stay in the car"

Edward parked and kissed me on the forehead before walking towards a visibly upset Alice. Part of me wished I could hear their argument and the other half of me was incredibly grateful that I couldn't.

Alice flailed her hands around while Edward looked incredibly calm, and then suddenly I saw it. Alice's entire demeanor changed, she looked down, embarrassed almost. Alice then gazed back up at Edward and nodded. Understanding.

I wondered what Edward had told her. I wondered what had changed Alice so quickly. I didn't have much time to think because before I knew it Edward was opening my car door and Alice was receiving me into her arms.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. If it wouldn't have been for the fact that I saw her lips move as she said it, I would've thought that I'd imagined it, for her voice was so soft I could've mistaken it for the wind.

"It's okay, Alice," I tried my best to give a reassuring smile.

Alice suddenly broke the moment.

"Run inside, it's going to rain."

Edward hitched me onto his back and he and Alice raced towards the house. Just as we shut the door behind us a loud clap of thunder was chased by a bolt of lightning.

Next up: A talk about the birds and the bees if you know what I mean. Let me know what you want to hear, and what you don't.


	5. Chapter 5

_I don't own any of the characters- unfortunately. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer but if you let me play with them then I promise I will put them all back where they belong……_

A/N- I'd like to thank TeamEdwardLover- I love you- you are my most faithful reviewer J

**Chapter 5**

Alice had offered to accompany me to the grocery store so I could stock up the kitchen at Charlie's house and after having disappointed her earlier that day I just didn't find it in my heart to say no.

She asked questions about each item I put in the shopping cart, be it an onion or a carton of juice. She wanted to know what it tasted like, what it went well with, how long it took to expire. She wanted to know everything. It was times like these when I really pitied Alice. She had absolutely no memory of her human life, of normalcy.

I shuddered at the thought of not being able to remember my own human life and then quickly changed the direction in which my thoughts were flowing as to avert the topic from Alice's visions.

Soon we were strolling through the Female Sanitary/Family Planning aisle which delighted Alice to no end. She was like a nine year old, giggling and raising her eyebrows immaturely.

We finally made it to the end and we were about to turn into the next aisle when it dawned on me. A question I had never really thought of before but suddenly seemed so real and so…. Imperative.

"Alice?" I asked.

She snickered and looked at me with a silly face.

"Yes," she drew out.

I realized that she knew exactly what I was planning on asking her. She just wanted to see me go through the embarrassment of actually asking.

"You know what, don't be silly," I said it sternly.

How had I never thought of this before? Was I being plain inconsiderate? Every month for five days blood dripped out of my body. Super normal. Except for the fact that there were vampires in my milieu. I felt panicky, and embarrassed and just very very aware.

I felt my breathing pick up, Alice must have noticed because she instantly wiped the Cheshire grin off her face. She took the shopping cart from me and steered it into the canned food aisle.

"Alice," I said in a broken voice. I had tried to sound demanding , I had failed.

"Calm down," Alice murmured.

She was picking up cans of soup and reading the labels.

"Answer my question Alice," I said it sternly although it was a whisper, nearly inaudible.

"First of all, Edward is going to be laughing, like right now, as he hears this," she looked up as if there were someone above her listening.

"It goes like this. That blood isn't fresh, it isn't alive really- it is like dead. Dead blood isn't really all that attractive," Alice shrugged.

My eyes were wide. How had I never thought of this before?

"It isn't a big deal," Alice continued, "Edward would never think to mention it because its, well its just really private, and well you know…"

She drifted off.

"What do green beans taste like?"

"Alice," I called her attention back to me with a panicky voice, "is Edward ever going to bring this conversation back up, in any shape or form?"

"Never," she promised me. Her eyes were honest.

I shut my eyes.

"I rather like green beans," I changed the subject, "I swear I can't describe the way things taste but green beans are quite alright."

Alice laughed and we continued to walk through the super market with Alice interrogating me as if I were some sort of food expert.

As we tried to fit all of my groceries into Alice's Porsche a yawn escaped my mouth and I realized that it was already dark out.

Alice and I had spent the entire car ride back to my house talking about our pending trip to Seattle where we would ravage vintage shops in search for my wedding gown.

Back at my house, Charlie came out to help Alice and I unload the groceries. Charlie invited Alice over for dinner, and as always, Alice politely declined the invitation.

Charlie watched Alice as she stocked the fridge. Suddenly Alice froze in a way that was all too familiar. She was getting a vision.

"Alice," I called out snapping her out of it.

She smiled sweetly at Charlie before looking at me intently.

"Bella, did we leave anything in the car?" her voice had an edge to it and quickly I understood.

"I'll go check and walk you out," I replied, trying to act calmly.

Alice said her goodbyes to Charlie watching him intently and I followed her out of the house. Once on the driveway she blurted it out.

"Charlie knows."

"About the wedding?" I felt myself beginning to freak out.

"No, worse Bella, Charlie knows about the Quileutes and us Cullens," Alice's face was uncharacteristically somber.

"What? But wait, why? How?"

"I can't see it. Ughh" she nearly growled, "it must've been one of the dogs."

On the inside I smiled. The Quileutes were doing my job for me. They were slowly letting Charlie into the secret.

"Bella, this means we are going to have to move up the wedding and bail out of Forks before we do even further damage here, I have to go Bella," Alice looked worried, "Edward will be by tonight. Try to avert conversation with Charlie."

"Alice," my voice stopped her, "don't tell Edward, block it from your mind. Please? For me."

Alice looked up at the dark sky and back down at me before shrugging off an affirmative nod.

She gave me a big hug and gracefully disappeared into her car, which soon roared to life and sped into the darkness.

I walked back inside my house and set out to do exactly what I was told not to do.

"So Dad, how was your day?" I watched Charlie who was fumbling with the pages of some sort of magazine.

I began to prepare dinner. Steak and vegetables.

"Good. Long," he said tersely, "Actually I went down to La Push and had lunch with Jacob."

Ah-hah.

"My Jacob?" I questioned, knowing the answer.

"If he was your Jacob, the poor boy wouldn't be so depressed," Charlie said looking up at me.

I fumbled with a pot.

"I haven't spoken to Jacob in ages, we aren't exactly on speaking terms." I busied myself cutting carrots.

"So he told me, and then he began to rant on and on about the Cullens," Charlie paused, "Say Bella, have you heard the Quileute legend they have about the Cullens."

I swallowed and wished that I could somehow adopt Jasper's powers. I tried to inflict a sense of calm into myself.

"Yes, actually I have."

"Crazy, isn't it."

"Well it would certainly explain the animosity between them," I left the topic open and let it rest before quickly changing the subject, "I haven't heard from Renee in a while you know? Has she called you?"

Of course I knew the answer, Renee and Charlie avoided each other at all costs unless I was involved.

"Of course not," Charlie sighed.

The topic had the effect I desired. Silence. I finished up dinner and served it.

Charlie and I ate in comfortable silence and as I took the plates to the sink Charlie spoke up.

"I'll do the dishes Bella," he took the plates from me.

"Thanks," I leaned in for an awkward hug and then started up the stairs.

"Dad," I called out from the fifth step, "I'm really glad I came to live with you."

I saw him smile at me and watched the skin around his eyes crinkle.

He looked genuinely happy.

Opening the door to my own room I found the source of my happiness, Edward, sprawled out on my bed with his eyes closed listening to his iPod.

I tiptoed towards the bed hoping to surprise him.

"Bella, you wouldn't be stealth if you died trying," his voice startled me and his eyes snapped open.

I laughed, he was right.

"Why are you here so early?" I asked accommodating my body against his.

"Alice and Jasper wanted some _private time_," he choked out with a grimace.

I giggled but then I became serious.

"Will we ever want _private time_?" I rushed it out in a whisper and closed my eyes trying to will myself not to blush. Naturally, this did not work and I felt the red creep into my cheeks.

"When you've been changed, naturally," Edward articulated carefully.

"I meant like, after we get married, and like before you change me," I whispered it again pulling a sheet over my head in complete embarrassment.

Edward pulled the sheet from over my head and looked me in the eye. I felt all the blood in my body rushing towards my cheeks.

"Aren't you an eager beaver?" he joked.

I rolled my eyes.

"I have to talk to Carlisle about it," he confessed.

"About you and me, and sex?" I shrieked as quietly as I could, not wanting to startle Charlie.

"I have to make sure it can be done, and that I have the self control…" he trailed off.

"Maybe we should just practice, " I whispered deviously.

It was so unlike me to take the lead, but I knew that if I didn't do it, Edward wouldn't either. I shifted my body so that I was sitting on top of him, straddling him. I bent down and left a trail of kisses from his ear to his collarbone. I heard him let in a sharp breath. I began to pull away but Edward grabbed a fistful of my shirt and pulled me closer.

He slowly took my lips in between his and ever so softly rasped his teeth along them. The sensations of lust and fear swirled together in my stomach accelerating my heart and leaving my panting.

Edward lowered his body and was drawn toward my neck, where he lazily licked and sucked to his heart's content.

I lay in my bed looking at the roof and running my fingers through his hair, unable to react properly.

He was always so gentlemanly and suddenly he just seemed very raw, and real. I liked it.

Eventually Edward pulled away and rolled over so that he was lying right next to me.

"We're telling Charlie about the wedding tomorrow morning," I whispered.

He grabbed one of my hands and slowly traced circles on it.

It would all work out, eventually.


	6. Chapter 6

_I don't own any of the characters- unfortunately. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer but if you let me play with them then I promise I will put them all back where they belong……_

_The flashback in this chapter is taken directly from New Moon- it belongs to Stephenie…_

**Chapter 6**

I woke up and found myself swaddled in my sheets and sprawled out across my bed and over Edward. Edward was stroking my hair lazily and looking down at me when I first opened my eyes. He smiled.

"D-day," I whispered.

"I lived through D-day you know," he joked.

"Of course you did," I snorted.

I hadn't taken a shower the night before because I really didn't want to spend not even a second apart from Edward. I sent him home so I could have time to shower and he promised he'd be back before Charlie left on his usual weekend fishing trip.

While I was in the shower I thought of how I could plan, how I could act out my plan without Alice's clairvoyance interfering. I closed my eyes and felt the hot water relaxing me. And then I remembered.

_"So if you saw me go in, why didn't you see Jacob?"_

_She cocked her head to the side, distracted._

_I continued. "It's true that I probably would have drowned if Jacob hadn't jumped_

_in after me. Well, okay, there's no probably about it. But he did, and he pulled me_

_out, and I guess he towed me back to shore, though I was kind of out for that part._

_It couldn't have been more than a minute that I was under before he grabbed me._

_How come you didn't see that?"_

_She frowned in perplexity. "Someone pulled you out?"_

_"Yes. Jacob saved me."_

_I watched curiously as an enigmatic range of emotions flitted across her face._

_Something was bothering her—her imperfect vision?_

It was clear that there was only one way to get around Alice and with that thought I knew I had to change my train of thought.

I couldn't help but smile as I saw the pieces fall together.

When I got out of the shower I dried up and stood in front of my closet. I couldn't believe that I was actually putting so much thought into what I would wear. It was very unlike me, very much like Alice- yet, I knew that this was important.

I decided on a pair of well-worn jeans and a v-neck sweater. The sweater was one of my favorites because the sleeves were too long and I could easily hide my hands in them. The sweater made me feel secure. I needed security.

I bounded down the stairs running my hand through my wet hair and found Charlie sitting at the kitchen table. He was wearing a plaid flannel shirt and reading the paper. I couldn't help but feel as if I was about to hurl everything I had eaten the day before.

And then I heard the engine of the Volvo. I felt like my bladder was about to give out on me but I knew it was just the nerves.

"Is that Edward?" Charlie called out without even looking up from the paper.

"Yeah," I answered meagerly.

I went out to the porch. It was raining, which wasn't a surprise, but yet the sadness of the grey skies and the constant drizzle only furthered my anxiety. Edward didn't quite help either. He walked up the steps and hugged me but seeing him only made the moment more real and instilled more fear in me.

"Hey," he whispered, "I'll do the talking- I'm supposed to be the one doing the talking anyway."

He led me inside by the hand and he rubbed small circles on my palm in a lame effort to relax me. I felt like I was about to faint, there we were standing no more than 5 feet from Charlie and the kitchen table.

I heard Edward clear his throat but it seemed very distant. I felt like I was in a dream, this is how I always imagined it would feel like to be on drugs. I felt high.

In that moment I was oddly disconnected from reality, and then Edward began to speak and slowly I felt myself resurfacing, the way one floats to the top of the swimming pool. Towards the light.

"Charlie, I was wondering if I could have a talk with you," Edward's elocution was perfect and his tone was confident.

This was surreal. This was not happening.

Edward pulled out a chair for me and led me into it. I sat with my hands folded in my lap, completely silent. I was unable to muster a single sound.

Edward sat down next to me. I looked over at Charlie who had put down the paper and was staring intently at us. I felt like crying.

"Charlie, I came here to ask permission to marry your daughter."

Charlie's lips instantly formed a small o shape. He was silent, clearly, much like myself, the moment had left him temporarily mute.

"You see," Edward continued, "Bella and I are planning on going to college together, and living together, and well, we just wanted to do things the _right_ way."

"I see," Charlie stammered.

There was silence as the three of us looked around the table, at each other. I felt the weight slowly being taken off my shoulder.

"I suppose it makes sense," Charlie reasoned.

Edward smiled.

Charlie congratulated us all while keeping an eye on the clock.

"Fishing!" I remembered, "Go, Dad, I seriously don't want you to be late."

Charlie picked up his bait and tackle box still somewhat stunned. He shook Edward's hand and I walked him towards his car.

"Bella," he started as he loaded his gear into the cruiser.

I knew what he was thinking as his forehead scrunched up and the worry lines appeared.

I knew he was thinking about when Edward had left me, about my depression. I knew he was thinking about Jacob, whom he always wanted as his son-in-law. But I knew the main thing plaguing him were the memories of him and Renee so young and "in love." He was afraid. He was afraid for me.

"Dad, someday you'll understand it all," I promised.

My father kissed my forehead and drove off. I finally felt as if I could breathe. The anxiety and fear that had built up in me was long gone.

As I walked back towards my home there was a little more pep in my step, and I couldn't help but smile at the thought of my fiancée sitting in my kitchen.

_A/N- This was actually a really hard chapter to write just because I channeled a lot of myself into Bella and then felt it was somewhat out of character and had to go back and edit a few times. Also- I love writing, and that is why I am here but I get such few reviews that I honestly feel that nobody is reading this. If I take the time to write it, and you take your time to read it, please take an extra second to leave a review. I love you all…_


	7. Chapter 7

_I don't own any of the characters- unfortunately. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer but if you let me play with them then I promise I will put them all back where they belong……_

_A/N: My dad is actually sitting next to me with his arm around me as I type this (although he has no idea what I am doing). Our relationship reminds me so much of Charlie and Bella that it makes writing this story so much easier._

**Chapter 7**

"We need a date," I announced as I walked through the threshold of the house.

Edward was still sitting in the kitchen. He was beaming. This engagement clearly meant the world to him. I smiled, knowing that this made him happy made me even happier.

We drew me in for a hug and kissed me on the apple of my cheek.

"As long as it is before September thirteenth," he said mockingly.

"Oh Edward, are you telling me you wouldn't like to marry an older woman?" I joked.

I was amused at how lighthearted our conversation was. I enjoyed these moments, for some reason, there were never enough. We were still drawn in a tight embrace.

"We're home alone," he whispered into my hair.

"And every teenage couple except us would surely take advantage of that," I quipped back.

He drew back and looked at me in the eye intensely. I was breathless, before me I saw his eyes changing colors. Suddenly I was in his arms, he was carrying me. Our chests were pushed together and my legs were wrapped around his waist.

We stayed looking at each other.

Curiosity.

Fear.

Desire.

He carried me up the stairs and with his foot swiftly kicked the door open. I wonder if either the door or the wall would be scarred. Vampires weren't exactly gentle, and Edward wasn't all that gentle as the moment either, he threw on the bed somewhat roughly and yet carefully.

I wondered if that was even possible, "roughly and yet carefully." Was he finally driving me to complete incoherence?

I propped myself up on my elbows and admired him from where I lay on the bed. He was standing and looking over me longingly. I felt self-control radiating from him.

He stealthily moved so that he was positioned on top of me.

He slowly ran his lips from my forehead, down my cheekbone, to my neck which was without a doubt his favorite part of my body. I made a mental note to ask him about his fascination with my neck later. After leaving layers of light kisses on my neck he slowly moved down to the neckline of my sweater.

I gasped. Things between Edward and I were certainly not as chaste as they had once been.

Edward continued to place light kisses on the flesh that wasn't covered by my v-neck sweater, on my chest. With his teeth he moved the sweater to the side exposing much of my collar bone where he sucked and licked.

I couldn't move. I felt absolutely frozen until he moved back up and captured my lips with his own. As if I were Sleeping Beauty waking up, I finally was able to react.

I bucked my hips up, rubbing against him suggestively.

And then he pulled away.

His withdrawal didn't surprise me, what did surprise me was the coy smile plastered on his face. It wasn't his trademark half smile, it was a whole smile.

I raised an eyebrow and looked at him inquisitively.

"I have the control now," he started, I swore that if it would've been possible for him to blush in that moment he would've, "we just really should wait."

I sighed and threw my head back, banging it against my headboard in the process. The searing pain made me dizzy.

He rushed to my side and pressed his fingers against where I'd hurt myself, no doubt examining me.

"I don't know what I fear most these days," he mused, "me hurting you, or you hurting yourself."

His snarky comment provoked a snort from me.

"No concussion this time," I promised.

He laughed.

After some lighthearted banter we headed down the stairs and towards the Volvo. We were headed to the Cullen house where we would announce the good news.

"Should we set a date before we speak to your family?" I questioned, admiring him as he drove.

Edward always drove with confidence, which I found extraordinarily sexy. The fact that he also enjoyed driving meant he usually drove with a content look on his face, the same look he would have after we spent a day at the meadow together.

He looked comfortable when he drove, and I always felt safe. To me, the Volvo was like a fortress.

"First off, it is OUR family. Secondly, we already have a date," Edward replied.

"Really?"

"Just ask Alice," he said cheekily.

I rolled my eyes. Naturally, Alice had seen this coming which explained why she was waiting for us on the lawn of the Cullen house bouncing and clapping her little hands.

"The first of August, the first of August," Alice shrieked as I opened the car door to get out.

After having spent so much time with vampires, I couldn't help but wonder how regular people got by. How could people deal with not knowing other peoples thoughts? Without seeing what would happen next?

Edward was already at my side with an arm around me.

Jasper joined us on the front lawn begging Alice to calm down.

"You're killing me," he had told her.

He offered his congratulations to us and when he drew me in to hug me I felt a wave of emotion. Jasper had always been distant because he was so afraid he would hurt me, in his arms, I finally felt like I belonged.

Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie and Emmett joined us outside soon after.

Esme was lovely and welcoming as per usual, while Carlisle joked that I'd be losing less blood and requiring less of his medical services soon. I laughed, Carlisle had come to resemble somewhat of a father figure to me. Clearly he was much different than Charlie, my biological father, my blood-but I had come to see Carlisle as my vampire father.

I braced myself for what was coming next. Rosalie and Emmett. Rosalie seemed very composed. She told me she was glad that I could make Edward happy and that I completed the family, which meant the world to me seeing as the words we coming from her. She didn't hug me, and refrained from any physical contact, but the way she looked me in the eye showed me just how honest she was. I gave her a warm smile.

Emmett on the other hand, didn't feel he needed to use words to convey his emotions at the moment. He punched Edward on the shoulder in such a way that made me cringe. I was sure that if Edward were human his shoulder would be displaced and Edward would be writhing in pain. The two then embraced.

When their brotherly love Kodak-moment was over, Emmett reached over towards me and scooped me up. Although he was strong, and I didn't weigh very much, the way he did so reminded me of the way a parent would carry a toddler. It was if I weighed nothing. Emmett then proceeded to spin us both in circles until I closed my eyes because I was sure that I would vomit.

"I'm so excited you are joining our family, Bella, even if you are a human," Emmett said as he set me down on the ground.

I breathed a sigh of relief as I was placed on the stable ground.

Alice stood proudly in front of Edward and I.

"I knew it all along," she bragged, "I knew this from the first time at the meadow."

Edward scowled at her. I had to admit it was disturbing that she knew so much. It was somewhat disturbing how everyone in this family was so in tune with one another.

But I loved Alice, and unlike Edward, I didn't take her comment the wrong way.

"So Alice," I challenged her, "how long is it going to take me to find my dress?"

I winked at Edward who was laughing.

"Don't fear Bella, I know it is mid-June but…" Alice began to chatter animatedly and I couldn't help but feel elated. Everything was working out perfectly. Everyone was happy. I smiled.

And then it surged over me, a wave of realization- the complexity of the daunting task that lay ahead of me. As much as I loved the Cullens and was ready to accept them as my new family, I already had a family, albeit a very small one.

I was ready to give Renee the closure she would need before her daughter disappeared for at least a few years.

But Charlie…

The smile plastered on my face suddenly seemed very fake and when I looked up, my eyes met Jasper's. He looked concerned. He knew.


	8. Chapter 8

_I don't own any of the characters- unfortunately. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer but if you let me play with them then I promise I will put them all back where they belong……._

_A piece of this is inspired by the song Crooked Teeth by Death Cab for Cutie- if you've heard it, you'll spot it out_

**Chapter 8**

The living room of the Cullen house was bustling with excitement. Emmett, Edward and Carlisle were sparring with one another, physically and verbally, in the living room while Alice, Rosalie, Esme and myself discussed wedding business in the kitchen. Jasper sat at the dining room table looking at me, making me extremely uncomfortable.

"Bella and I are going to Seattle on Tuesday to find her dress," she glanced over at me as she said it.

I made a face.

She giggled. "It will be quick and painless I promise," she said tapping her forehead.

Esme left the kitchen laughing at my aversion to Alice's shopping trips and Alice finally sensed something wrong with Jasper and went to go sit with him.

Soon she was sitting on top of him and they were kissing in such an indecent way that although I felt extremely compelled to look, I couldn't help but look away.

Rosalie looked over at me and smiled. I smiled back. I was ecstatic to be on her good graces.

Rosalie cleared her throat and plopped herself down between Alice and Jasper interrupting their intimacy. Alice sighed and Rosalie pulled her into a hug, soon they were chatting away about some Italian designer.

Jasper stayed watching me intently, eventually he pulled me aside.

I braced myself for the inevitable conversation.

We walked in silence towards Carlisle's study. Jasper took a seat at Carlisle's desk and I made myself comfortable in a large leather chair.

"So tell me why you're feeling what I'm feeling," Jasper said with a smirk.

"You ought to try your hand at psychology," I joked back.

"You're scaring me," I admitted sheepishly.

"Bella," he stated solemnly, "I swear I hunted yesterday, I'm under control I promise."

"Silly," I said with a smile, "I'm scared of you knowing what I feel, not that I'll become the next meal."

"Dr. Seuss, much?" He laughed.

The moment was light, and then I felt the tension building. I didn't need Jasper's powers to feel the energy in the room.

"Bella," he sighed, "I'm worried, Edward can't read you and you have been an emotional cyclone lately."

I sighed and shut my eyes. I reminded myself to be careful with my words and as honest as possible.

"I know that you all come from eras where marrying young was acceptable, was normal, but it isn't anymore. A lot of people don't even marry anymore, they fall in love and have kids and live perfectly happy without the ceremony or the written contract."

Jasper nodded sympathetically.

"But it's also personal," I continued, "Renee and Charlie got married so young and it was such a mistake."

"Are you implying that you and Edward may be 'a mistake'?" Jasper interrupted.

I shook my head no.

"Good," he laughed, "I'd hate for you to be betting against Alice."

"I know Alice has her visions," I responded, "It's just that I wonder what my mom will say, what other people will say. And it isn't that I actually care about what they think- it is just that I'd hate for people to be speaking negatively or dubiously about Edward and I. They have no idea how real and intense our love is."

Jasper slid out of his chair and came over to mine, perching himself on the armrest and sending waves of relaxation in my direction.

"Bella, there will always be naysayers," Jasper confided, "And it will hurt you to know that people are wondering if you marrying to cover up a pregnancy etcetera etcetera etcetera."

"But," he said placing a large emphasis on the word, "I know you know it is what you want."

I nodded.

"So can you please do me a favor?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah?" I asked wondering what he would say.

"Control your emotions before you drive me insane," he chided slinging his arm around me.

I breathed a sigh of relief as we went out and joined the rest of the Cullen family, the rest of MY family.

We spent the afternoon together, the Cullens and I. We watched a movie and challenged each other playing video games. I felt at ease. I felt comfortable.

Come nightfall it was time to return to Charlie's. I said my goodbyes, promised Alice her shopping trip, had Emmett ruffle my hair and caught a wink from Jasper.

And then I was in the Volvo speeding back towards Forks. Edward drove with one hand on the wheel and the other on the center console, grasping mine.

We pulled into my driveway and the lights in the house were all lit.

"Do you want me to get off?" Edward asked gently.

I shook my head no and he promised me he'd be back later, when Charlie was asleep.

He left giving me a kiss on the forehead. I always found kisses on the forehead to be the most intimate. To me, they showed true love.

"I love you," he whispered.

"And I, you."

I got off the car and walked into my house smiling. Edward always had that effect on me. He dazzled me, constantly.

Upon entering the house I found Charlie asleep on the couch while a college basketball game flashed on the television.

It was a tender moment as I watched Charlie snore lightly. I felt it again, that feeling, the realization that I just couldn't leave him behind in the darkness.

I felt my eyes welling up with tears and before I knew it my body had transported itself to the kitchen. I was standing in front of the phone, staring at it intently.

It was a war of head versus heart. My head told me that I was putting the Cullens in danger and images of the Volturi flashed through my mind. My heart told me that it was completely unfair to leave my father without closure, without the truth.

My head was weak and my heart spoke.

I picked up the phone and I tried to keep my hands from shaking.

I dialed a familiar number. My fingers skidded over the numbers as I dialed.

It rang twice and as it rang I heard my heart, I felt like it was beating its way out of my chest.

I heard the phone click and then the familiar voice made it all seem so much more real.

I couldn't believe I was doing this.

"Hello- It's Billy speaking"

"Billy," my voice cracked, "it's me Bella, I was wondering if there was any way I could get a hold of Jacob.

_A/N- I'm so sorry- I have mono and I honestly feel like death __L__. I don't know how long I'll feel like this but I'll do my best to update. I wanted to leave you guys with a little something to munch on- I'll be honest though, I don't know where I'm taking this story, I'm going to let it take me. Thoughts, suggestions, ideas…REVIEW! __J_


	9. Chapter 9

_I don't own any of the characters- unfortunately. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer but if you let me play with them then I promise I will put them all back where they belong……._

**Chapter 9**

"Isabella Swan, you drove my son away."

Billy Black's words were laden with accusations and hatred.

"Billy…" I pleaded.

"Bella, I don't know where the boy is. He's long gone, so far gone that he can't even communicate with the pack."

Billy's voice had softened, I felt myself winning him over.

"Then can I see you Billy?"

He had to have heard the desperation in my voice because he agreed to see me and I promised him I'd be down in La Push first thing tomorrow morning.

I nudged Charlie awake and he headed up to his room, he looked exhausted and I couldn't help but worry.

I relaxed myself in the shower as the steaming hot water trickled down my body. I wrapped my towel in a body and freaked out a little when I realized I hadn't brought a change of clothes with me. I leaned against the wall.

I knew Edward would be waiting for me in my room.

I weighed my options and stared at myself in the mirror. I wished I could be one of those girls that always look sultry and seductive, instead, there I was naked, wrapped only in a towel and I looked like a child.

I suddenly felt very insecure. I could only imagine how Rosalie or Alice would look wrapped in this drab towel. Hell, even Jessica Stanley would manage.

I just looked awkward, as per usual.

I padded into my room praying that he wouldn't be there. Naturally, nothing ever went my way.

When he looked up I could've sworn I heard him gasp.

That gasp was all it took, suddenly I felt very confident. While I wasn't Rosalie, or Alice, or Jessica, I made him gasp and they didn't. I felt like I held the power.

His eyes shined with lust.

"I completely forgot to take clothes into the bathroom," my tone wasn't apologetic, it was nonchalant.

I felt giddy, I was "playing it cool."

I thought about taking clothes and going back into the bathroom to change but I decided to keep up my little charade.

I slid a pair of underwear on under the towel. Once my panties were in place I let the towel drop. I was facing away from him so I couldn't see his face and I had to will myself to not look.

I could've sworn I heard a growl but I may have imagined it, I felt high off of my excitement.

I haphazardly chose a shirt and tugged it over my head. I ran my fingers through my hair and hung up the towel. Finally, I turned around.

Edward was frozen onto his spot on my bed.

"Are you okay?" I asked feigning concern.

"I'm fine," he whispered looking away.

"I think I need to go hunt," he declared standing from my bed.

I felt guilty, I didn't want to him to go.

"Won't you stay with me, at least until I fall asleep?" I asked selfishly.

He nodded. He wasn't as close to me as he usually got.

"I need to run some errands tomorrow morning," I lied.

"I'll probably be done by the afternoon," he said.

"Are you going alone?"

"No, I think I'll take Alice with me," he murmured.

I silently celebrated that victory, Alice would be occupied tomorrow. There would be less time for your visions.

"Bella," Edward's voice cracked, "I'm definitely the luckiest guy in the planet right now."

I giggled and he pulled me closer. He hummed his lullaby until I fell fast asleep.

I woke up bright and early that Monday morning. Edward was gone just as he'd promised.

I got dressed in seconds flat and grabbed a cereal bar.

I told Charlie I'd be heading down to La Push in the morning and I'd be running errands in the afternoon. I was somewhat concerned that he hadn't addressed the topic of my engagement since it was announced to him, but he seemed to be doing alright.

I hopped into my truck at eight o clock sharp, just as Charlie pulled out of the house in his cruiser on his way to work.

The ride to La Push was long and lonely, I was anxious.

When I finally pulled into the Black house I saw Billy on his wheelchair on the front porch. I yanked my keys from the ignition and headed towards him.

"Bella," Billy nodded his head in my direction addressing me, "you wanted to see me."

I was building up all the courage I had within me.

"How do the Elders work?"

My question was blunt. His eyebrows shot up. I think I had startled him. I should've started with an easier more subtle question.

"The Elders oversee the pack," he replied tersely.

"Like the Volturi?" I inquired.

"I don't know much about the Volturi. The Elders decide the rules, and oversee that they are not broken."

"What exactly are the rules?" I prodded.

"Isabella, I know you didn't come here for this. Can you please stop skirting around the issue," Billy's voice was unnaturally harsh. I winced.

I lowered my face to the floor.

"I want my dad to know," I murmured unable to meet his eyes.

"Charlie?" Billy scoffed.

I found the courage to look up. I nodded meekly.

"You want your father to know that all day long you hang around a pack of vampires?"

Charlie stared at me in disbelief.

"Well, why not? Besides, once I tell him the boy that he wants me to be with is a werewolf it will all be settled."

I couldn't afford not to use sarcasm.

"So why don't you just run along and tell Charlie your boyfriend is a leech?"

"The Volturi will come and they will kill him," it came out as a whisper. "They'll be coming soon enough to see whether or not I've been changed. I don't want Charlie to be involved."

"The Volturi want you to be changed? You're going to be changed?"

Confusion was etched on Billy's face.

"How else do you think I managed to convince Edward to change me? It's funny because he was dead-set, pardon the pun, on keeping me human forever."

"That Cullen boy wanted to keep you human?"

"Yes," I nodded defending Edward, "He still does, but I want to be changed."

Billy wheeled his wheelchair towards me.

"Why on Earth would you choose that damned lifestyle for yourself?"

"Don't you get it?" I became agitated, "I don't see it as damned. The Cullens are decent people, they are honest and good."

Billy wheeled himself into his house and I followed. I was almost positive he didn't want to be seen with me on his front porch, although, he probably hadn't taken into account the tell-tale unmistakable red Chevy parked in front of his house.

I shut the door behind me and reveled in the comfortable and familiar living room. I was filled with nostalgia, and then sadness struck me the instant I realized that Jacob wouldn't be making an appearance anytime soon.

My eyes started to water.

"We too are prohibited from telling people our secret," Billy said softly.

His face was compassionate. I realized that Billy wasn't interested in the animosity between vampires and werewolves, he was merely interested in my well-being.

"I remember Jacob couldn't tell me," my voice was laden with sadness.

"All the pieces just fell together for you Bella, it'll be hard to replicate for Charlie."

I nodded. This had all been useless, no matter how many hints I threw Charlie's way, he would never guess vampires and werewolves.

"If you need anything Bella, please let me know. Be careful," he warned.

I nodded.

I gave him a weak hug and headed towards my red truck.

I drove without really paying attention to the road. My thoughts were overwhelming, I could barely stand to listen to them. I wondered how Edward put up with his own thoughts AND everyone else's.

I was barely out of the reservation when my cellphone rang. The caller ID flashed EDWARD, but I had known that from the moment I heard the Debussy ringtone. I flipped the little silver contraption open.

"Where have you been all day? I've spent all day looking for you physically and in other people's thoughts and then you disappeared from Alice's visions which can only mean one thing."

He stayed silent after his little tirade.

"Say it isn't so," he pleaded.

"I came down to visit Billy Black, Edward," my voice sounded tired, I was beginning to feel ill.

Stress always got to me and made my immune defenses unnaturally low. I figured it was only a matter of time before I came down with the flu. I groaned.

I could hear Edward mentally debating his course of action.

"I invited him to the wedding," I added sweetly.

Of course it was somewhat off topic but at least it would butter him up.

"You could've just sent an invitation," Edward said with a sigh

His bravado was wearing off.

"I hadn't been here in a while and I felt bad for Billy with Jacob being gone and all," I admitted candidly.

"Are you on your way home?" He gave in, and I thanked God he wasn't being relentless.

"Yes sir."

"Will I see you tonight?" I heard a smile forming on his face, I knew him all too well.

"I don't know, will you?" I asked cheekily.

"Alice is planning your shopping extravaganza for tomorrow, the least I can do is spend the night," he said somewhat sympathetically.

I laughed and we said our goodbyes.

I got home I threw some food in the oven and showered in the meantime.

Once I made my way down the stairs, I found Charlie wearing his signature "lets-talk" face.

"Bella," he broke the ice, "I just want to make sure you are happy."

"I am Dad, I am very happy."

"You know that the way I felt about Edward changed when he left. I don't know if my opinion of him will ever change back."

Charlie's brutal honesty was tearing me.

"Dad, there are a lot of things that I want to tell you but I can't," I admitted.

"Why? Why not? Are laws being broken?"

I laughed. My phone buzzed in my pocket. It was a text message from Alice.

**DON'T TELL.**

I rolled my eyes.

"Laws haven't even been written about this sort of thing. It's about the Cullens and Jacob and some of the Quileutes."

"About why they hate each other?" Charlie's voice was curious.

"Kind of. Why don't you go down to the reservation and ask to be told some legends. Just be really open minded…"

I was cut off by the sound of the ringing house phone.

Damn Alice.

Charlie answered and he raised an eyebrow as he spoke.

He held out the phone.

"It's for you Bella," Charlie uttered, "It's Sam Uley."

_A/N: LONGEST CHAPTER THUS FAR- and more drama- I'm spoiling you all!!! _

_I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas, and if you've been celebrating Hanukkah, Happy Hanukkah as well __J__ I will probably be back with another chapter on the 27__th__ but maybe just maybe the 26__th__ if I'm feeling inspired._


	10. Chapter 10

_I don't own any of the characters- unfortunately. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer but if you let me play with them then I promise I will put them all back where they belong……._

**Chapter 10**

"It's for you Bella," Charlie uttered, "It's Sam Uley."

To say I freaked would be the understatement of the century.

I remembered being thoroughly calm when I found out Edward was a vampire. I remember the certainty I felt when I went after James. I remembered my nonchalance when I deciphered Jacob's cryptic clues and realized he was a werewolf.

During those monumental moments I had been able to induce myself into a state of serenity yet now I trembled as I reached for the phone. What could Sam Uley possibly want with me?

"Sam?" my voice quivered.

"Yes, Bella," his stern voice asserted.

I glanced back at Charlie who seemed to be organizing the tools in a giant red, rusty tool box. He was completely absorbed in his own task despite the initial curiosity he appeared to have over the phone call.

"To what do I owe the honor of receiving a phone call from you?" I tried to sound lighthearted.

I failed.

I heard Sam chuckle faintly. He chuckled! Super angry people didn't chuckle. Did they?

My mind raced.

"Billy and I spoke about your little visit to La Push and as the Alpha I feel like you should come back down and speak to the pack," Sam said smoothly.

Oh fuck, I thought to myself. This could not be good.

"Seriously?" I mumbled.

"Seriously, Bella. It seems there are some things we may have overlooked and now we see the severity of this situation."

Sam's voice was thick with implications.

"Why don't you come by tomorrow morning?" Sam's question was stated rather than asked.

"Yeah," I answered meekly.

"I'll see you then Bella. Take care," Sam offered politely.

I hung up the phone and stared a bit at Charlie.

Charlie looked up from his tools.

"What did Sam Uley want?"

Curiousity killed the cat.

"He invited me down to La Push again tomorrow," I sighed, "I guess they missed me."

I faked a chuckle and watched Charlie refocus on the toolbox.

I stared out the window. It still wasn't dark out and Charlie seemed to be in a decent mood. I decided to try my luck.

"Dad, would it be okay if I stepped out for a bit? I won't be back late," I promised.

Charlie looked up from the toolbox he was sorting through and nodded. It seemed lame that I was asking permission seeing as I was a legal adult, I had graduated and was on summer vacation, and I was engaged to be married, nonetheless, I respected Charlie enough to ask.

I fumbled upstairs and called the one person I actually wanted to see. The one person who could distract me from all this drama, even if it was only by making me even more aware of my own sexual repression.

It rang once.

"Hello," the velvety soft voice answered.

"Come get me, please," I sounded exasperated and I knew it. I racked my mind for excuses I could give him, while I rummaged through the closet looking for stuff I could wear.

Edward must've noticed my imperative tone because I heard some noise and what I swore to be wind before he spoke again.

"I'm already in my car. I'm on my way. Is everything okay, Bella?"

I reassured him about twenty billion times that everything was perfectly fine. I managed to convince him enough to the point where he hung up the phone but I knew the second he saw me he would initiate a full scale investigation.

I flung my phone across the room and over to my bed.

I wasn't a materialistic person but I wanted to look good for Edward. I already felt bad that I was using him as a physical release for my stress.

I found unopened shopping bags from my last shopping trip with Alice and in them I found a pair of dark denim skinny jeans.

I remembered that I had waved off as too uncomfortable and suggestive at the store. They accented every single curve on me, naturally, I felt uncomfortable wearing them, obviously, Alice had bought them. I fought with them pulling them over my legs until the tight material formed a second skin.

Stumbling back over to my bed I found my cell phone and tucked it into the back pocket of my so that I could continue the search for a top.

A flash of royal blue color caught my eye. It was Edward's favorite color on me and he wasn't embarrassed to admit it. The color was on a pretty cowl neck sweater. I scrutinized it and approved before pulling over it over my head.

I brushed my hair and decided that I would tell Edward that I was in an emotional funk because I didn't want to say goodbye to Charlie. That would corroborate with Alice's vision which she had no doubt already told Edward.

In return, I figured Edward would be extra loving, in order to somehow compensate for the Charlie's love, which he figured he'd be taking out of my life.

Did that even make sense? I wondered to myself how coherent I was on a scale from one to ten, cringing I realized that I probably was as incoherent as ever.

I heard someone at the door and figured it would be Edward. I pulled my boots on over my jeans. I glanced in myself in the mirror and acknowledged that I didn't look bad. Edward Cullen sure was a boost for my ego.

I bounced down the steps and felt the excitement growing within myself.

_My fiancée_, I paused as soon as I thought it and blushed. I was without a doubt the luckiest girl on Earth.

**A/N: Filler chapter, I know, I know. Good news is that I decided the next one is going to be kinda sorta LEMON-Y. I didn't get any reviews for my last chapter- sad sad sad. Make me happy this time ****J**** love.**


	11. Chapter 11

_I don't own any of the characters- unfortunately. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer but if you let me play with them then I promise I will put them all back where they belong……._

**A/N: My best hook-ups have always been in cars-and I honestly believe Ms. Meyer didn't allow enough action in the Volvo. Enough said. BTW- omg you guys gave me awesome reviews- I LOVE the input/opinion ones.**

**Chapter 11**

Edward and Charlie small talked for a good ten minutes before Edward and I made our way out of the house. I couldn't help but notice how civil Charlie was acting towards Edward which made me wonder the motive behind my father's change in attitude.

I hoped that Charlie had finally realized that there was more to the Jacob-Bella-Edward situation than met his eye, but I figured that he had probably just given up on being brusque seeing as soon enough Edward would be his son-in-law.

I gulped.

My thoughts flashed back to the wedding which seemed more and more real with every second that went by.

Charlie had told us not to worry about being home early, something which both shocked me and provoked a smile as I walked out of my home hand in hand with Edward.

Edward gently squeezed my hand and I squeezed it back as hard as I could. The gesture provoked a laugh from him and I had a feeling that my "as hard as I could" had been as light as a feather for him.

"So," he said, his smile fading, "why the hysteria earlier on the phone?"

He hadn't forgotten.

Crap! What had I rehearsed earlier in my bedroom? I completely forgot, being with Edward did that to me, after all he dazzled me.

He stared at me, analyzing my confused face. He nodded towards me, encouraging me to respond.

"I know you won't believe me but I don't remember. I was upset, but then I saw you with Charlie, and he was just so nice to you, and now I'm just so….so content. Oh Edward! I really just don't remember."

He laughed which I took to mean that he actually believed me. Apparently satisfied with my answer, he opened the passenger door of the Volvo for me and helped me in before dashing to the driver's seat.

"So where did you have in mind?" he mused as he started the car and drove aimlessly.

"Anywhere, as long as you're with me," I chuckled.

"To the meadow it is."

I had to smile, only because when I had told him "anywhere" I had actually envisioned us at the meadow. It was one of those moments that I was so glad he couldn't read my mind. Had he read my mind, the moment would've been insignificant. Having not read it, the moment was proof of how in tune Edward and I were- proof of our belongingness.

To my surprise, Edward drove slowly. For the first time being a passenger in Edward's car didn't make me feel like I was running away from someone or running ridiculously late to something. It felt just right.

Edward was like a natural high. I remembered having wondered what being on drugs felt like but suddenly I was sure it couldn't be better than what I was feeling now, what I felt every time we touched.

I looked over at him and glanced back down in embarrassment when I found him catch my glance.

"I was actually thinking to myself how unnaturally safe your driving was today seeing as you are adhering to the speed limit, but there you go ruining it. Your eyes are definitely not on the road," I chided.

"Do you honestly think that after all the danger I've had to wrangle you out of, I'm going to let something happen to you due to my driving?" he asked incredulously.

It reminded me of his answer when I had asked him if the reason he couldn't read my mind was because my brain didn't work properly.

I smiled and looked out the window and he started playing with a few stray tendrils of my hair.

He stayed playing with my hair for the duration of the car ride.

It wasn't until we turned off the main road and onto the unpaved trail to park that it started to rain. Rain, of course, being an inaccurate understatement, pour being a more appropriate term.

When I turned to look towards Edward he was already looking at me, naturally.

"Plan B?" he asked.

I scrunched up my nose in frustration.

Why? Why? Why?

I just wanted to be with Edward at the meadow.

I let out a loud annoyed sigh.

"Sorry, love," Edward lamented, "you won't be seeing me sparkle. Besides, it was getting late anyway, it's nearly twilight, and I doubt that you'd want to be stuck out there in the dark."

He jerked a finger towards the shrubbery as he made his point.

"I thought you were the scariest thing in the forest," I joked.

"Ha ha," he said sarcastically.

He played with the keys in the ignition.

"We could go back to my house," he offered.

"Or we could just stay here," I mused.

"Bella, it's raining, and unless you have a newfound appreciation for the 'wet and the cold'….," he commented using quotation marks around the dreaded words wet and cold.

I sighed loudly and rolled my eyes.

"Stupid, silly vampire," I feigned annoyance, "I meant like here, in your car, just here."

"Just here?" he questioned.

Bits of silly teen movies flashed in my mind. Obviously what usually happened in situations like this was…well it was obvious, but that wouldn't happen.

"We can just talk," I assuaged him.

Clearly Edward doubted my self control just as much as I doubted it. I laughed to myself as he stared intently at me.

"I'll behave," I promised, my voice laden with exasperation.

He laughed lightly.

"What if I don't want you to behave?"

"Don't tease me, Edward," I complained.

When I looked up I noticed that Edward didn't appear to be joking. I sucked in a jagged breath.

"I could practice my self control," Edward said seductively, tracing his ice cold finger on my lips.

"I don't get it," I admitted, "this is so out of character for you."

I waited for his response.

"I sense your emotional warfare. I don't understand it, but I sense it, and I just want to make it go away. I just want you to know that when you're with me, nothing matters but you and me."

His voice was barely a whisper, making me feel like I had imagined his comment. One glance upwards towards his pleading eyes made me realize that he really had said it.

Unable to find the words that properly expressed the emotion I was feeling, I reached out and grabbed him by the back of his head, tangling my fingers in his hair and bringing his lips crashing towards mine.

The kiss was desperate, and even when I opened my mouth and used my tongue to force his open, he didn't complain or push away. He needed this just as much as I did.

Release.

I pushed my body towards him, my frustration growing towards the center console that separated me from him.

I wanted to push myself against him. I wanted to be as close as possible to him. I wonder if he felt the heat, the heat that radiated off of my body indicating the yearning, the desire, the lust.

Once again, it seemed as if Edward had read my mind because before I could even discern what was happening, Edward had jumped over the center console, reclined the passenger's seat all the way back and pinned me to the seat without placing any of his weight on me. Damn Vampire!

I gasped, and then I couldn't remember how to breathe.

In and out, I coached myself mentally, as Edward took in the sight of me.

The way he looked at me made me feel like the most beautiful thing in existence. The way his lusty eyes raked over me made me forget everything.

Just as he had said earlier, it was only Edward and I. Only us.

Edward's face gravitated closer to mine and he continued to attack my lips with his own.

I shuddered and felt goose bumps rising on my arms. My body temperature rose as well.

I felt like I was going to combust again. I felt like all that pent up emotion within me would just make me burst and explode. I was sure that this would be the death of me.

And then, his lips were suddenly off of mine.

I scrunched my eyes shut. It was over. He was about to pull away.

Instead I gasped in shock and my eyes flew open as Edward slid his cold hands up my sweater.

He stared down at me.

Was I about to lose my virginity in a car?

That was a little cliché, no?

Then again, it was with a vampire which made it unique and not so teenage-horror movie. Actually it made it more teenage-horror movie.

But Edward wouldn't.

His self-control.

His virtue.

Whatever.

I gave up and decided to stop thinking, and watched as Edward turned the heater on.

Why would he do that?

My question was answered as soon as he began tugging my sweater off of me. He did it gently and slowly which was a sweet torture because I wanted nothing more than for him to be closer to me.

I arched my back up and my body came closer towards him. He pushed me back down and then lowered himself so that his face was leveled with my chest.

He looked up at me again and his eyes seemed to be asking permission. I nodded and my body shook, trembling from the excitement.

He lowered his mouth towards my bra, and then, ever so carefully, using his lips, he began to push the bra cup away.

I hissed as his cold lips began to plant slow and deliberate kisses on the swell of my breast. He hesitated, but I wouldn't allow that. I tangled my fingers in his hair and pushed him back down towards my body.

I could've sworn I heard him laugh.

He looked up at me, as he kissed my exposed skin.

Oh my god.

"Bella," his voice was barely a whisper, "I need you to promise me now that you won't move."

He sounded so fucking sexy. His voice was full of need. I couldn't speak.

"I really don't want to have to stop what I'm about to do. Just please don't move," he was pleading.

I nodded and my eyes flew shut in anticipation.

My senses were on overdrive. I felt his coming closer to my body again.

"Open your eyes, Bella," he whispered.

His voice was sultry and I obeyed, watching him intently as he lowered his head back to my exposed breast.

He pushed the bra cup further down and I was suddenly able to see my nipple, clearly excited.

He lowered his mouth and took the small pebble between his lips. I gasped in utter delight and fought the urge to close my eyes.

Watching his was just so utterly sensual, as he looked up at me sucking on me.

My toes curled up instinctively in my boots.

I whimpered. This was just the best thing I had ever experienced.

"I must be fair," he whispered breaking my haze.

He then carefully pushed the bra cup back into place, covering my breast and moved to the next one repeating everything he had done.

He left me incoherent.

I was unable to respond physically, unable to speak, unable to think.

I just was.

In that moment there was no past, or future. Only the present existed. Only the fantastic delicious feeling he was provoking.

Edward finished all too soon and reached for my sweater. I began to regain all my mental and physical capacities.

I wanted to complain but I couldn't. I knew that wouldn't be fair. He had risked having his teeth, his venom, so close to my exposed vulnerable self. I could only imagine the self-control it must've taken him. I knew I had to pay him back. Eventually. Somehow.

"Thank you," I whispered breathily.

Was this going to be awkward now? Leave it to me to make a situation awkward. I felt myself beginning to tense.

"Anytime," he quipped with a smile.

Edward pulled the seat back into an upright position and hopped back over the center console onto his own seat. I leaned back into my headrest and felt myself relaxing. I closed my eyes and smiled.

"I think," Edward's voice cracked unnaturally, "I think you might have dazzled me just now."

I didn't bother opening my eyes. I just widened my grin.

He grabbed a hold of my hand and I opened my eyes to look over at him as he took control of the Volvo and navigated the vehicle back onto the main road.

"To your house my lady," Edward feigned an accent, "I'm delivering you home safely and with your virtue in tow."

I rolled my eyes.

"Hey," I stopped him, "is Charlie asleep?"

He seemed to concentrate, squinting his eyes. He nodded.

"Why don't you just drive your car home and then run me back to my house and stay the night. That way you don't have to leave me alone," I explained.

I felt childish.

"That's a good plan," Edward said, easing me into a better mood.

-------

After dropping off the Volvo, and waiting for Edward to change clothes, Edward ran, carrying me, all the way to my house.

Edward set me down on the ground and I started to walk towards the door but Edward stopped me. He appeared to be concentrating, listening for Charlie.

He nodded giving me the okay and I walked up to the porch, hand in hand with Edward. Removing the key from my back pocket I unlocked the front door and pulled Edward in behind me.

The house was pitch black.

"This is new," he whispered into my ear, "me coming in through the front door."

His lips grazed my ear and I felt electricity. Suddenly he grabbed me and pulled me closer so that my back and his front were sandwiched together.

Damn this boy!!!

He lifted me lightly into the air and walked up the steps, setting me down once we had reached the second floor.

I rummaged in my room, looking for a pair of pajamas and my bag of toiletries and took it with me into the bathroom. I took the shortest shower I had ever taken in my entire life, using ice cold water to see if I could try to douse the flame I had within me. I failed.

I pulled my old sweats on and raked my hands through my wet hair while staring at myself in the mirror.

My lips were swollen, from kissing I supposed, and I had a glow to me. I looked happy. I couldn't help but smile.

I padded slowly back into my room and as always, he was lounging on my bed. I crawled into my bed, under the sheets and scooted to be closer to him.

It was like we were cuddling. I was cuddling with a statue, but cuddling nonetheless.

Edward's face showed signs of deep thought.

"Are you ready to regret it?" I groaned.

Why couldn't I have a normal eager boyfriend? The type you had to swat away.

"I don't regret what I did. I was just thinking about how I was able to do it," Edward whispered.

Our faces were inches apart.

"How did you?"

"It was incredible," he admitted, "I wanted you, I was drawn to you, I desired you. But not your blood. Just you. Almost as if I were human, or you were a vampire."

"Good," I murmured, "That means we can do it again."

I closed my eyes. It was amazing to feel this way around Edward. So uninhibited. It was like we had no secrets, we shared everything with each other. I enjoyed being candid with him.

"I remember once upon a time, a shy Bella," he joked, "who was embarrassed to ask me about vampire sex…."

"Stop talking, I'm sleepy," I cut him off embarrassed.

Edward was laughing.

Eventually waves of sleep washed over me but I could've sworn I heard Edward faintly humming my lullaby.

**A/N:** **I know it might kind of be out of character for them to be so open with each other but in my opinion-that is what constitutes a stable relationship. I'll expand on that from Bella's POV later. This is double my usual chapter- double the reviews? (a girl can dream….)**


	12. Chapter 12

_I don't own any of the characters- unfortunately. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer but if you let me play with them then I promise I will put them all back where they belong……._

**A/N-I'm so sorry that I hadn't updated- I went on an impromptu camping trip. I'll be back with another chapter ASAP but only if you send me some love via reviews. Seriously- tell me you love it, tell me you hate it, tell me what you think…**

**Chapter 12**

I woke up but kept my eyes shut to try to figure out how I would go about the morning, making it as least awkward as possible.

Honesty seemed to have worked the night before. Although everything was still embarrassing, it was more tolerable when I brought it up in a joking manner.

I felt myself blushing. Damn it, I was supposed to be sleeping.

I allowed my eyes to flutter open.

To my surprise, topaz eyes weren't staring back into mine. In fact, the space Edward had occupied on the bed was empty.

But Edward wasn't gone.

One glance upwards and I found him sitting on the swivel chair at my desk organizing my things. Organizing MY things. I didn't know whether to be furious or grateful. I vacillated between the two emotions.

I didn't have time to decide the winner because my thoughts were interrupted by the shrill of the house phone.

The sound broke Edward's concentration and he smiled upon finding me awake.

I jolted out of bed.

"Phone, then brushing teeth," I garbled before kissing him on the forehead and hauling out of the room.

I was afraid that the phone would stop ringing before I found it but luckily it was right on the receiver where I had left it, much to my surprise.

I picked it up on the last ring.

"Hello," my voice was cheery.

"Bella, it's me Billy."

"Billy?" my voice was confused.

"Yes, I wanted to speak to you before you convened with the pack at ten."

Of course I was unnaturally happy, I had forgotten about Sam Uley's ominous call and my meeting today.

Fuck! Alice was going to kill me. I was going to miss out on the wedding dress shopping excursion. Edward was likely to have a fit, too.

I groaned internally.

"Bella, I just wanted to let you know that I didn't tell Sam everything. I didn't tell Sam the whole truth."

"What?"

Billy wasn't making any sense.

"What doesn't Sam know?" I prodded.

"Sam only knows that you are getting married and that you will be changed," Charlie responded.

"What does that have to do with anything Billy?" I asked exasperated.

My mood darkened further when I realized that Edward was surely upstairs listening to my conversation.

"Bella," Billy said soothingly, "it will all make sense soon enough. Roll with the punches. I'm doing this to help you."

"Sure,sure," I responded dubiously, using the words I had inherited from Jacob.

My eyes became misty at the thought of his name. Jacob.

I hung up the phone and hung my head in shame for having forgotten the Jacob mess that I had created. I stumbled up the steps, my feet heavy with guilt.

In the bathroom I washed up in zombie fashion, not wanting to risk thinking, knowing that my emotions would break out and create warfare amongst themselves.

I pressed my head against the cool tile wall and thought of Edward in the room next door waiting for me.

"Regain composure Bells," I whispered to myself.

I gave myself a mini pep talk before deciding to go tell Edward I was meeting with the La Push gang.

I tried to pull a look of confidence on my face but sighed knowing that I had probably failed miserably.

As I pushed the door to my room open, my cell phone began to ring breaking Edward from his thoughts as he turned to look at me expectantly.

His face bore a look of confusion.

I leaned over and kissed him as I grabbed my phone from next to him and flipped it open.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Why are you cancelling on me?" Alice blurted.

Fuck the psychic, I thought to myself.

I groaned inwardly. Of course, she couldn't see where I was going. Straight into her blind spot. I looked over at Edward and realized that he had already read Alice's mind and was probably wondering where I was headed to as well.

"I was thinking we could make it after lunch."

I waited in silence.

"Please?" I added.

"Fine Bella," Alice huffed, "only because I know exactly where we are going to find the dress."

"Why don't you just pick it up for me then?" I joked.

"One thirty," she shrieked, "in my driveway."

I flipped the phone shut and looked over at Edward.

"So you cancelled so we could stay here and have some alone time? You shouldn't have" Edward mocked.

I began to pull together thoughts to respond but Edward spoke before I did.

"It's okay Bella, I know you are going down to La Push, which explains why Alice saw you cancelling but couldn't see the motive."

His voice was soft, and his eyes as well.

He didn't appear to be angry.

I nodded.

Ever since I had agreed to marry him it seemed as if it had made our relationship more tangible, he didn't freak out over the little things anymore.

Then again, his rashness probably had a lot to do with the fact that Jacob was long gone.

"I don't want to get dressed," I complained.

"Don't."

We laughed and horsed around until Edward left to go meet up with Carlisle, no doubt to talk about devirginizing me.

I cringed at the thought.

I pulled on some old jeans with some old boots and my favorite hoodie. I definitely needed to be in my comfort zone today.

The clock read nine twenty five when I left the house.

My big red truck roared to life and I set off to La Push.

Just as I was entering the La Push boundary my phone buzzed briefly, a text message.

**I just wanted to remind you that I love you.**

**Edward**

I smiled. Who would've thought my nineteen hundred's boyfriend was a texter?

I made it to La Push and parked by Uley's house where the meeting would be.

I swallowed, pushing the huge lump in my throat down.

My hands were trembling from the nerves. I was just about ready to pass out when little Seth Clearwater came by.

"Hey Bella."

I smiled and we chatted for awhile before Quil and Embry started walking up to the house.

At that point I felt strangely comfortable despite the situation. I was breathing evenly.

-

All the members of the pack were scattered around the Uley living room, sitting, lounging. I sat on a couch next in between Seth and Quil and I couldn't help but feel that Jasper must've been using his powers from afar because I felt oddly at ease.

Sam stood. And paced.

When the clock finally ticked ten o clock, the meeting began.

I couldn't help but marvel at the formality of the situation. Despite the fact that they weren't being supervised, these usually rambunctious boys acted like civilized men.

"This meeting has been called in reference to the treaty between us and the Cullens," Sam began, his voice dripping with acid.

I tensed up. I considered myself a Cullen.

"As you all know," Sam continued, "our forefathers decided that the Cullens could remain only if they stuck to a strictly animal diet. We consider ourselves to be protectors, and this treaty was instilled with the intent to protect. Additionally, the Cullens were forbidden to initiate anyone into their lifestyle."

Sam paused at that point and glared at me, every pair of eyes in the room soon turned to me.

Sam cleared his throat and regained everbody's attention.

"As you all know, Bella Swan is a friend of ours."

I stifled a snort, "a friend of ours"?

Seriously, the use of the pack plural was pretty intense considering how much Sam Uley and I hated each other.

"Bella, will soon be marrying Edward, the youngest Cullen, and she herself will become a Cullen in every essence of the meaning."

I couldn't help but pick up on Sam's obvious mistake, Edward wasn't exactly the youngest. I wanted to correct him but it seemed incredibly inappropriate.

"As you all know, although I may act as it, I am not technically the Alpha of this pack."

My body tensed up at Sam Uley's words, at his reference.

"On the other hand, so many _conflicts of interest_ are involved in this situation," Sam's voice droned on but I was unable to concentrate.

Unable to breathe.

I was sure I was going to die.

Apnea.

The room suddenly began spinning. I heard Sam's words but I was incapable of listening, of comprehending. My body seemed to be shutting down.

I closed my eyes shut hoping this all would stop.

Hoping I'd vanish.

Hoping the Earth would swallow me.

And then there was silence.

And I heard a few gasps.

"Well ya know I think it is up to us to take care of this situation," said a gloating voice from behind me.

A _familiar_ voice from behind me.

I sucked in a breath and remembered when I had heard Edward's voice in my head after he had left me. But this time, it wasn't Edward

Was something similar happening? Was I going insane?

Quil and Embry were looking past me, behind me with enormous smiles on their faces.

Could this really be happening?

Suddenly memories, good and bad, raced through my head, like a slideshow.

_The first time at first beach._

_When he stopped me at prom._

_The motorcycles._

_Rescuing me after cliff diving._

_Answering the phone and prompting Edward to go face the Volturi._

_The kisses._

_The warmth of his body in the sleeping bag during the newborn's attack._

_The pain I felt when I found out he had been injured._

There was no denying my love for him, even Edward had come to terms with this. It was just evident that as much as I loved him, it wasn't the eternal undying love I felt for Edward.

But it was still love.

Not even passionate love, maybe.

But, love.

Slowly, as to not lose my balance and fall, I turned around.

One hundred and eighty degrees.

And there he was.

Russet skin.

Perfect hair.

He looked so warm that if my feet didn't feel glued to the floor I was positive I'd be in his arms.

His lips were pursed trying to hold back a smile as he saw me. Ironically enough, it reminded me of Edward's half smile.

In that moment I was sure my world was about to come crashing down.

What was happening?

I began to panic and felt beads of sweat forming on my forehead.

Through all the nerves and the conflicting emotions I couldn't help but feel satisfied, content and safe.

He was back.

My best friend was back.

When I finally wrapped my head around the scenario I opened my mouth to talk, but all that came out was a breathy whisper.

"Jacob."

**Somebody probably saw this one coming. I'd had it planned for a while. Anyway- mini cliff hanger.I'll be updating regularly again-review.**


	13. Chapter 13

**I don't own any of the characters- unfortunately. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer but if you let me play with them then I promise I will put them all back where they belong…….**

I am so sorry I've been gone for so long- I was REALLY REALLY sick, then I went to London, and now school started again. Basically the real world made me put my imaginary world on hold  The reviews really made me keep going. Love you all….

**Chapter 13**

Jacob smiled and little wrinkles and lines formed around his eyes.

He looked tired.

And sad.

I wanted to jump into his arms but I censored myself, I wouldn't allow myself to cross the boundary.

Was there even a boundary? Asides from the geographical one? Was I a Cullen to Jake?

I smelled him. It sounded absurd but that musky downright Jacob scent swirled through my nostrils.

I timidly took a step towards him.

Magnetism.

I couldn't not.

It was physically impossible for me to pull away.

The sun peaked through the dusty curtains in the leaving room, casting shadows over the pack of werewolves before me. Their skin glistened in the sun, it did not sparkle.

Sparkle.

Edward.

I couldn't help but wonder whether or not Edward had heard through thoughts that Jacob would be back. Part of me thought he did, he was already attuned to the werewolves, while the other half of me debated that Edward wouldn't let me waltz right back into a Jacob scenario.

I took another step towards Jacob.

I could reach out and grab him at that point. I felt the pack shifting their weight and observing the interaction between myself and the estranged Jacob.

Jacob took a step forward and I reflexively took a step back.

I was terrified.

It was a lose or lose situation.

My thoughts vacillated between my best friend and my lover but I already knew which one I couldn't live without.

My attention turned back to the scenario before me. It looked as if someone had pressed pause.

Jacob's eyes shifted and I noticed that he was no longer looking at me, rather he was looking past me. I followed his gaze slowly pivoting on the balls of my feet.

Sam Uley was on the receiving end of Jacob's stare, nodding.

I sighed loudly.

I was tired of the psychics and the clairvoyants. Why the fuck wasn't anyone normal?

I felt myself beginning to get angry with everyone.

Jacob took another step forward and I couldn't help but retract once again. Unfortunately, Jacob knew me all too well and upon encompassing my small hand with his large warm one all rational thoughts were gone.

"Guys," Jacob's voice broke, "give us like twenty minutes."

His words were met by vacant stares from the pack.

Jacob dragged me outside of the house and under the grey sky which encumbered the reservation. He didn't speak, he simply walked at a slow and steady rate down towards First Beach.

First Beach was to Jacob as the meadow was to Edward.

Unfortunately for Jacob, I would much rather be at the meadow with Edward. Although mysterious and often vague, Edward usually did things that were in my best interest. On the other hand, Jacob usually only did things that benefitted himself.

I doubted him.

As we sat on our usual piece of driftwood I let my thoughts flow out through my mouth.

"Why did you come back?" I prodded.

"To help you."

His words were music to my ears but I couldn't help but realize that they were less than sincere.

"What's in it for you?" I murmured, weary of his intentions.

"Nothing," he shrugged.

I rose an eyebrow and he laughed.

"Everything," he admitted, "how do you think Edward is going to react when he finds out you've been secretly scheming and came to La Push of all places for help?"

He paused.

"How do you think Edward is going to feel when you threaten not only himself and his family but also you upon revealing his secret?"

The lapping of the waves filled my nervous silence.

Jacob laughed.

"Bells, why the hell are you so eager to tell your father that your fiancée is a vampire?" he scoffed.

A fire ignited within me and I couldn't contain it any longer.

I broke my silence.

"So that I can tell him you are a fucking werewolf," I spat.

I felt pure hatred towards him at that moment.

"If I don't help you Bella, who will?"

I violently shut my eyes to keep the tears in.

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and I yanked my body away.

"I'm going to tell Edward," I reasoned.

I couldn't not tell Edward that I was going to tell Charlie he was a vampire, right?

Jacob sighed loudly.

"Can't you just let me help you Bella? I freaking care about you! I want to see you happy and I am willing to tell your dad I am a werewolf if that is what it takes."

His words stung me.

Jacob was willing to give up his secret for me.

Whether or not it was entirely for my well being was still unclear, but he was sacrificing a bit of himself.

Would Edward do the same?

My eyes met Jacob's and I nodded, letting out a gusty breath.

As complicated as this was, Jacob had always been there for me. I knew within me that any negative reaction of his was provoked by me.

"This is the deal Bella," Jacob said softly, "the pack can't know that you want this."

"Why?"I inquired softly.

"Just let me do the talking Bells."

I nodded affirmatively.

"But is the pack just going to go along with this?" I inquired.

My voice was whiney, I was desperate.

"Relax and trust me. Keep your mouth shut too," he advised.

Jacob was back and he was going to help me.

We walked slowly in silence back towards they Uley house.

It wasn't comfortable silence, it was awkward, and filled with stolen glances.

Eventually Jacob just smiled.

"I promise it will be okay, Bells," Jacob said confidently on the front stoop of the house.

"You can't promise that," I argued.

I pushed a strand of hair out of my face and tapped my foot nervously.

"Yes I can."

His tone was confident and arrogant.

I opened my mouth to argue but Jacob filled the silence before I could.

"Would Edward and I ever let anything happen to you?"

I pursed my lips together.

"I'll answer that for you- NO," he said opening the door.

The pack was still there, lounging around, but their calm demeanor quickly changed when Jacob and I entered the room.

Sam stood up and nervously looked toward us.

"Sam," Jacob called out, "I've got this."

"No bro," Sam warned, his eyes were soft, "You can't do this. It's alright."

Compassion.

Sam loved Jacob too.

"Bella, this secret of ours, we aren't supposed to tell anyone who doesn't have to know. But you're breaking the treaty, you're ending your life. We feel it is our responsibility to tell Charlie," Sam carefully pronounced.

Suddenly, I was able to piece everything together. Sam thought it would hurt Jacob to have to hurt me by revealing the truth to my father. Little did he know that those were my actual intentions.

I caught Jacob staring at me and he gave me a tiny nod.

I opened my mouth to speak.

"Bella we have to do this," Embry intended to comfort, his eyes were full of pity.

Suddenly I knew what I was supposed to say.

"Can it at least be Jacob?" my voice cracked.

"Jacob?" Sam asked.

I nodded.

"I guess Bella, as long as it is done."

"It isn't you Bella, it's them," Jacob said softly.

Tears welled up in my eyes, I didn't even know why.

"We'll see you tonight Jacob," Sam finalized.

Jacob had already grabbed me by the elbow and was dragging me out of the house.

"Why are you meeting with them tonight?" I shot out as soon as we were out of hearing range.

"Curiosity killed the cat you know?" Jacob teased.

"Yeah, well by next week, I aim to not have a heartbeat."

"Sick joke Bella," Jacob said with disgust.

"You need to tell Edward," Jacob instructed, "then, I need to talk to Edward."

I nodded dumbfounded.

I opened the door to my truck.

"You're not driving," Jacob said firmly, "you don't look too emotionally stable to me."

I was going to argue, but I couldn't find words.

I was so confused.

We walked through a wooded area towards Jacob's house, and when his house became visible through the clearing, so did a shiny silver sportscar.

I froze and my breath hitched.

"Bella," Jacob's voice whispered reassuringly, "I told him to tune out Alice, turn off his phone and come here."

I turned to look at Jacob, I was sure my eyes were as wide as saucers.

"This has to be about you and him, no vampires, no werewolves, no virgos," Jacob said with a reassuring grin.

I mustered up a weak smile.

Edward was leaning against the side of his car but rushed towards us the instant he saw us.

"What's going on here?" he demanded.

Edward wasn't angry, worry was etched all over his face.

I stepped towards him, into his cold embrace.

I felt at home.

"Jacob, what's wrong with her?" Edward pleaded.

Jacob reached his hand out and brushed it across my forehead. Surprisingly enough, Edward didn't react, he simply waited for Jacob to speak.

I felt Edward getting nervous.

"I'm fine," I said unconvincingly.

Edward looked ready to argue.

"I just need to talk to you, just us, just Edward and Bella," I murmured.

Edward looked towards Jacob and Jacob just nodded before turning away.

"Jacob," Edward called out, causing his chest, and my frail body being supported by it to vibrate.

Jacob turned to look towards us.

"Thank you," Edward called out.

"It's no problem," Jacob said genuinely, "We'll talk later, get my number from Bella."

They were civil, and as pleasing as that was, I couldn't bring myself to feel happy.

Too much was still at stake.

Edward scooped me up and carried me back to the car, my body hanging like a limp rag doll.

He tucked me into the passenger's seat and buckled me in.

Jacob stood at the porch and waved to Edward, Edward returned the gesture and climbed into the car.

I was sure Edward thought I was doubting my love for him, doubting whether or not I wanted to be changed. I was sure I was going to break him emotionally if I kept in my current trance –like state.

I was also sure that I loved Edward, Jacob, and Charlie and the odds of me walking out of this situation with all three of them were weary.

Edward took the main road back towards Forks, exiting the reservation, and driving just at the speed limit. He clearly was beyond worried about me if he was driving that slow.

"We need to go to the meadow Edward."

He seemed startled to hear me speak. My voice was clear and loud. He nodded, confusion mixing in with the worry that was so prominently displayed on his features.

"We need to go to the meadow because that is the only place in the world where our love makes perfect sense, Edward."

_

_In case you were wondering Sam's quote "we aren't supposed to tell anyone who doesn't have to know" is directly from Eclipse, pg 122, except Jacob says it._

_ANDDDDD If I can get more emails from you guys than from my demanding professors you all will get another chapter by Saturday, forget Bella's Ultimatum- I'm giving ya'll one ;)_

_REVIEWWWWW_


	14. Chapter 14

**I don't own any of the characters- unfortunately. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer but if you let me play with them then I promise I will put them all back where they belong…….**

**Chapter 14**

Large raindrops began to fall on the wind shield of the Volvo and the sky turned its usual shade of grey. It wasn't even noon yet.

We drove in comfortable silence and with our hands intertwined, resting on the center console of the car.

I felt calmer and more confident.

I had rationalized that Edward loved me.

Jacob loved me.

And Charlie loved me.

Surely that love wasn't all going to go to waste.

I fought a childish urge to cross my fingers.

Edward pulled off the main road and into the clearing where we usually parked.

"It's raining pretty hard Bella," he commented.

"We're in Forks," I joked back opening the door and stepping out of the car.

We walked into the clearing and I was surprised when Edward didn't throw me onto his back and break out sprinting. Much to my surprise, he grabbed for my hand and we walked slowly towards our meadow.

I looked up at him and arched an eyebrow.

"Aren't we supposed to be doing things the human way?" he laughed.

He bantered for a while before we gave up on normalcy.

Edward flung me onto his back and took off toward the meadow.

The brisk wind and the rain that poured down violently whipped against my face but I felt good. I felt free.

Edward set me down in the middle of our meadow and looked at me expectantly.

His eyes shone with worry.

Unsure of how to proceed I followed my instincts.

I pushed him down onto the floor, my force didn't affect him but he willingly sat down on the wet grass looking up at me. The fat raindrops rolled down his face. His wet clothes clung to him.

He was a vision.

"I trust you," my voice cracked, "I trust you with my life."

He opened his mouth to protest but I waved my hand at him stopping him.

"I'd like to think that you already trust me," I continued, "so I'm not going to ask you to trust me. I want you to trust yourself."

"Trust yourself," I repeated adding emphasis.

Then slowly I backed away from him. He looked on at me apprehensively.

I sucked in one last breath of air and felt courage running through my veins.

Slowly I began to peel my wet clothing off of me.

He jumped up as soon as he saw what I was doing, but I spoke before he could.

"Trust me, and trust yourself," I cried.

Before long I was standing before him only in a bra and my underwear which were thoroughly soaked from the rain and clung to my body like a second skin.

Edward's eyes were huge, and his hands had a death grip on each other. I couldn't figure out whether he looked startled or confused or another emotion.

"What are you thinking right now?" He whispered feebly.

"I'm scared," I admitted, and then quickly explained, "but not of you physically. I'm scared I don't measure up or you won't like what you see or…."

My voice trailed off and I looked away feeling myself blush.

I shut my eyes and felt the raindrops fall on my face.

I knew I had to keep going.

Slowly I reached for the clasp of my bra and unhooked it. The drenched garment stayed in place stuck to my skin until I pushed it aside.

Then, very unceremoniously I moved my hands to the waistband of my underwear and pushed them down towards the Earth.

I stood before him completely unclothed.

Naked.

He let out a strange strangled sound.

I didn't care,

I had lost all rational sense and I had come to terms that I was acting more like an animal now than he had ever.

I walked closer to him.

"Bella," he whispered.

"Trust yourself," I murmured.

He shyly avoided his eyes from my naked body but that was quite alright because I had caught him ogling earlier.

Despite the fact that it was my first time being naked in his presence, my first time being naked in the presence of anybody, I felt strangely at ease.

I trusted him.

As I walked closer to him he stood up, or rather shot up at supernatural speed.

Our bodies were inches apart.

I reached out for his hand and brought it to my face, caressing it against my cheek.

I was surprised that he hadn't pulled away, I was not accustomed to this.

I dragged his hand down the side of my face and down my neck, rubbed it against my clavicle and further down till it hovered over my left breast.

Edward had his eyes scrunched shut

I had to stifle a laugh, his face was priceless.

I dragged his hand down a little further to where it could feel my smooth and steady heartbeat.

He relaxed a little.

Realizing that I wasn't nervous or afraid, rather I was perfectly calm, seemed to please him.

His eyes slowly blinked open and met mine before looking down bashfully, and returning my gaze once again.

He looked confident.

I continued dragging his hand down the center of my stomach, past my belly button, straight south before pulling it onto the skin that stretched over my pelvic bone.

I left his hand to rest there, pulling mine off of it.

I expected him to move his hand away immediately, but he didn't it remained.

Much to my surprise he then reached out his other hand and pulled me closer to him.

I was freezing and soaked but my naked body reacted to his touch despite the elements.

He planted a chaste kiss on my forehead.

Electricity.

He then reached his hand out pulling my chin up and firmly planting a kiss on my mouth.

My eyes fluttered open as he pulled away.

His kisses were pure bliss.

"I only trust myself because you trust me and I trust you," he confided.

This was my moment, it was now or never.

_I hate to be persistent but please review review review. It irks be that this story is on 26 users favorite lists, and on 41 users story alerts yet I only have a total of 70 something comments._


	15. Chapter 15

**I don't own any of the characters- unfortunately. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer but if you let me play with them then I promise I will put them all back where they belong…….**

**Chapter 15**

"Do you know what it is like to be alone? To feel like there is nobody there? Like there is nothing to look forward to?" I mused.

"I lived in solitude for quite some time, Bella," his voice was somber.

"It is a horrible feeling, the only thing worse is being abandoned," I whispered.

Guilt and shame washed over Edward's beautiful features, he knew I spoke from experience. Experience I had gained from him.

Unable to look me in the eye, he glanced away and looked up towards the stormy sky.

"He's always been there for me, I can leave it all behind, just not him," I sobbed.

I hadn't realized that I had started to cry. I couldn't help it. I was completely overwhelmed.

"Bella, I understand the bond between you and Jacob. It is something I have come to terms with," Edward started.

My head shot up.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Things with Jacob…" he continued hesitantly.

"No," I bursted, "No, no, no."

"No?" he questioned looking surprised.

"No," I confirmed.

"Oh."

There was silence.

"It's Charlie," I confessed, "my dad."

Confusion shone through Edward's topaz eyes.

"Ever since Renee left him, he has never really moved on. My house looks exactly the same as the day my mother left him. He is like frozen, waiting for her."

Edward's attention was now entirely focused on me. His mouth was pursed in a way it often did when he was lost in thought, like when he read or played the piano.

"When I left him, to go to Phoenix, I thought he was going to die. Me coming here, it has been so beneficial for him. He has someone to come home to. Don't you see?"

Edward gave an affirmative nod and his action urged me to continue.

"I'm all he's got. Me and a few fishing rods," I finished somberly.

I breathed out a gust of air that I had been holding in.

"I can't walk away from him. I can't pull a Renee."

My wet hair was matted to my forehead and I raised a hand to push it away.

"So you want to stay human for your father?"

His words were careful but they stung me.

"It is _so_ obvious you can't read my mind," I blurted, " Things would be so much easier for us."

He laughed and wiped some raindrops away from his face. He looked delicious.

I savored the moment. His laughter.

I knew once I spoke, the tension would rise and his mood would drastically change.

"I will marry you and you will change me," I paused, he seemed please.

"But we will tell him," I finished in a whisper.

"TELL HIM!" Edward exclaimed, "Tell him what?"

"The truth."

"No."

"Yes."'

"No."

My eyes opened wide as I planned my next move, I was sure I looked like a deer in the headlights.

"All bets are off," he huffed, "we don't have to get married, I won't change you until after you 'human experience', none of that really matters."

"I will get married," I affirmed in a cracking voice, "and you'll change me whenever you deem it necessary, but when he walks me down the aisle he will know."

"He won't allow you to marry me, Bella, he'll see me for what I really am," Edward sighed.

"First of all, please don't start with your 'I'm a monster' pity party, it is growing really old. Secondly, I'm eighteen, I'm an adult, if he doesn't like it we will leave, we have to leave eventually anyway," I reasoned.

"Okay Bella," Edward groaned sarcastically, "let's throw your dad in danger, it is not like the Volturi are powerful or anything."

"They would never find out," I argued childishly.

Edward simply glared at me.

"He would be happier knowing," I said.

I could distinguish my warm tears from the cold rain as I felt them on my face.

"We would all be put in grave danger," he said quietly pushing wet strands of hair out of my face.

"He wouldn't put me in danger," I argued, "he'd take our secret to the grave and you know that."

"Bella, we can't do this. I won't do this," he stressed.

I hadn't expected to win this fight easily, but then again, I hadn't expected to lose it either. My body trembled and desperate sobs escaped me.

Edward stood before me reflection a combination of pity and confusion.

"It isn't up to you anymore anyway, I just wanted you on my side," I revealed in desperation.

I was taunting him childishly.

"What?"

A clap of thunder followed his inquiry.

I wiped the tears out of my eyes and composed myself enough to speak.

"The werewolves are getting involved," I croaked.

"WHAT?"

His body shook violently and his pupils quickly grew making his entire eye dark.

"Is that why you were with Jacob today?"

He snarled at me and I couldn't help but feel more vulnerable than ever, standing there naked in the rain.

"My family cannot stay if our secret is let out, we would have to leave."

His words were definitive.

I couldn't help but wonder if he was including me in that collective we.

Suddenly, I realized that it didn't matter.

Edward was not taking my side.

Edward was not cooperating.

Edward was going to force me to choose.

There was a violent clap of thunder and then a deafening silence. The rain continued to fall but I did not hear it, nor did I hear the sounds of the forest. I remained in a permanent silence and I was completely alone.

Alone.

Edward's lithe figure before me did nothing to wash away my feelings of solitude.

Memories washed through my brain. Scenes like vignettes of moments that Edward and I had had flashed violently before me like a thunderstorm of thought.

Overwhelmed, my naked body fell to the floor.

I lay there naked, soaked, cold in the mud.

I felt utterly alone.

Suddenly I realize that this was exactly the state Edward had left me in when he left.

When he left.

_Author's Note:_ The amount of feed back on my last chapter was insane. Repeat. Please


	16. Chapter 16

**I don't own any of the characters- unfortunately. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer but if you let me play with them then I promise I will put them all back where they belong…….**

**Chapter 16**

"Get off the floor and get dressed, Bella," Edward commanded in a stern voice.

I couldn't speak.

Edward came into my field of vision with a wad of my drenched clothing in his hand.

He kneeled down next to me and slowly began to dress me, almost as if I was a doll.

He lifted my legs, gently and carefully slipping my underwear back on in a very non-sexual way. I was surprised that I didn't react to his touch. It was as if the cold water had numbed me, had frozen me.

He pulled my pants on in a similar fashion although it was much harder seeing as the wet material clung to my skin often not budging at Edward's unnatural gentleness.

He was always gentle, but now he was even gentler.

Was that even possible?

He buttoned me up and zipped up my zipper before pulling me to my knees so I was kneeling before him.

He held me to his chest with one arm that was wound around me tightly. He used his other arm to attempt to wrangle my bra onto me.

It was clear that his stealth, lithe, vampire skills were useless when it came to this foreign territory.

After fumbling for what seemed like an eternity he managed to clasp it together.

He had a tender look on his face but underneath I saw the distress. I saw his worry.

It reminded me of his face when James came after me and he had to kiss me goodbye sending me off with Jasper and Alice.

It reminded me of his face when we were in Volterra, reunited but in serious danger.

It reminded me of his face when we were up on that mountain, waiting for the end of the Newborn war.

I realized that that look meant he wasn't ready to give me up however troublesome I might be. After all, a heroin user doesn't stop because of the law or because their habit is expensive. An addiction is an addiction.

I felt myself resurfacing- that feeling that can only be compared to swimming to the surface of a pool after diving in.

With his left arm still wrapped tightly around me holding me up he set me down on the ground to see if I would stand on my own.

I felt my muscles strain as my feet hit the floor. I stood.

Using both hands, he pulled my sweater over my head. I remembered being little and being dressed by Renee before school, it was a comforting thought.

I began to move my lips as if to talk but nothing came out, he seemed to notice as he pulled me into a tight embrace.

"I can't even do anything about this now," I cried into his chest.

My voice was muffled but he seemed to understand as he rubbed circles onto my back.

"We will figure it out," his soothing velvet voice promised.

As much as my heart swelled with hope, my brain worked on overload realizing he hadn't said "we will get through this," a phrase which would've comforted me much more.

Had I, so determined to not have to compromise, to not have to sacrifice, single handedly ruined this?

I let out a choked sob.

"Let me in," he pleaded, "tell me what you are thinking."

For once, I said exactly what was on my mind.

"I've ruined this, because I wasn't willing to sacrifice Charlie," I said between gasps of air.

I could feel chunks of my life coming undone. I could feel myself falling apart.

"No," Edward said with determination.

I didn't know what he meant by the negative but I wasn't sure how much his input really mattered.

I knew I was walking on a thin tightrope and I knew I had lost balance.

Edward swept me into his arms and began to cross the meadow back towards his car.

Where was he taking me?

Where was he leaving me?

Would I see him again?

The questions swirled in my mind and I found myself eternally grateful he couldn't hear my thoughts.

I felt childish. I felt unsure.

"Where are you taking me?"

My voice came out as a feeble whisper.

"Home," he whispered.

I screamed out.

"What is wrong? Are you okay?"

He examined me worriedly.

"You're leaving me," I accused between sobs.

Then Edward did the most unexpected thing, he broke out into a genuine smile and let out a hearty laugh. I couldn't help but ask myself if maybe this was all just a dream.

"It's times like these when I wish you could read my mind Bella," he mocked me.

"Why are you so bipolar?" I blurted.

He arched a confused eyebrow.

"Did you miss the part where I told you that the werewolves are getting involved? It isn't in our hands Edward. Why are you so calm?"

"Bella, isn't this what you wanted? Why are you so bipolar?"

Since when was he so snarky?

I wanted to slap him. I had to admit, his spunk was turning me on.

"I need Jacob's cell number," he said casually opening the passenger's door for the Volvo for me.

My face distorted to show how stunned I was.

"No," I protested, "you aren't allowed to go near Jacob alone."

"Oh okay, I'll take the human to protect me from the werewolf," he scoffed.

I rolled my eyes.

"I'm taking you to your house and then going to have a **civilized **conversation with Jacob."

He placed a large emphasis on the word civilized and left no room for argument.

He put the car into drive and set off back towards Forks.

"I liked you better when you were silent and brooding," I huffed, leaning my head against the cool window.

_Author's Note: Sorry it took so long- it is really daunting for me to write from Bella's point of view, especially scenes where her and I would react so differently._

_I'm gonna change my uploading style- instead of the usual 2 shorter chapters a week, I think I'll start doing 1 long one._

_Keep the reviews coming, it is gonna get interesting- I PROMISE!_


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